Andy Henson

🐀🐀🐀🐀

I want a robot to stretch me every morning and evening. maybe tuck me in too.

if nuzzi pulls off a mask and it's Andy Kaufman underneath i will forgive everything

I put on 40lbs this year and I know I have at least one pullup in me

Me making my bed: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

this is perfect, nice work!

wildly unethical but also maybe the only decent thing he will have done

this is why Argentina. gotta have a place to flee.

gonna demand one of the animaniacs be executed in front of him

marvel zombies has more shang-chi and I loved it just for that

or inertia winning the fight against circulatory pressure. lots of options when it comes to physics

Wow, an extraordinary generous offer from a Bolts reader:

Russ is offering to match any contribution you make to Bolts (just let him know)!

And he'll also throw in an additional $$ for each repost of his post, or each new follow @boltsmag.org gets. So at least smash those share or follow buttons!

this is how every conversation goes whenever I run into someone I graduated with.

Is this because you got your review code for metroid? I think we should start glamming up when we get our anticipated games. I'll wear a tux and shave on elder scrolls 6 release day!

let him make it as big and as unsafe as he wants

also captain novolin was recommended to me so many times as a child but I've never actually seen gameplay before

this is incredible. I'm assuming the bk shoes motto was a response to the popularity of teenage mutant ninja turtles

how do they sound

if you're old enough to have a 7-day pill sorter maybe start avoiding some stuff

things only ever get worse so I'm assuming it's like a triple hastert or something

best do it before whatever blackmail they have on him gets released

The ivy league failsons that run our government are gonna use the time-tested tactic of copying answers from someone else's test

to be fair they should have seen it coming, given the name

Distracted man meme, me looking at "Gyoza Street" turning away from "everything else"

if we're lucky it will be the people who keep telling him yes and not the ones who keep telling him no

Explaining to the ER Doctor that I sprained my ankle because Party Rock Anthem was playing on the PA at Kroger

in the event of a crash he wants everybody to be casket-ready

I generally avoid politico but gimme ALL the gop dooming

fuck musk and I want to hate this but it would honestly do numbers at my family parties

my friend was told her arms were too short to play trombone so she used a loop of string to extend her reach and played that instrument all through middle and high school