@crabfestisback.bsky.social
he/him don’t explain the joke to me Bears/SA Spurs/Hawgs and GO BOWS
michelle obama stood in front of the portrait of her husband. it had been 2 years since he went missing…but she knew the truth. Michelle turned to the figure behind her. She chuckled. “Yeah. I know about the Chaos Emeralds.”
23.11.2025 02:56 — 👍 115 🔁 16 💬 1 📌 1#LETSGOPITTSTATE
#WELCOMETOTHEJUNGLE
bsky.app/profile/ebol...
22.11.2025 00:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
General William Tecumseh Sherman (General) is an orange cat, lying down on a heated blanket on his back, with legs and beans outstretched. He knows I am taking his picture, and has decided to be photogenic.
ORANGE CAT FEED
22.11.2025 00:45 — 👍 44 🔁 8 💬 2 📌 0TRUMP: and this Daniel, he went into the den?
MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes
TRUMP: surely they ate him
MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't
TRUMP: Unbelievable
I'll tell you one thing wrong with this app - no one is ever sharing pictures from olive garden
19.11.2025 23:15 — 👍 406 🔁 28 💬 23 📌 4me when I see others discovering the joy of Masayoshi Takanaka
19.11.2025 15:32 — 👍 134 🔁 12 💬 9 📌 2Donald Trump: one covfefe please ☝️😉
Barista: coming right up sir 😏 *writes pedophile on the cup*
Donald Trump: noooo! 😂
With the Lions' loss, the Bears are in first place in the NFC North 🐻
The last time Chicago was in first place this late in the season was in 2018.
I SHIT My Shorts
09.11.2025 22:46 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0A-fucking-MEN
07.11.2025 22:12 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0DRAG HIM, JOSH
07.11.2025 22:00 — 👍 107 🔁 22 💬 5 📌 0i don’t study fascism and i’m not fucking leaving, this country belongs to us, not them, fuck you
07.11.2025 03:09 — 👍 1010 🔁 160 💬 24 📌 8
Screenshot from King of the Hill Season 1, Episode 3
06.11.2025 09:19 — 👍 48 🔁 12 💬 2 📌 3I am going to spatchcock and oven-roast the Limu Emu.
02.11.2025 02:16 — 👍 131 🔁 25 💬 5 📌 3
A pumpkin carved with the face of the animated character Brak
BRAK O LANTERN
31.10.2025 19:13 — 👍 2893 🔁 557 💬 32 📌 23There is a 100% chance this guy voted for Vallas and wants Bagent to start at quarterback and even he’s tired of this!
31.10.2025 20:05 — 👍 28 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 1Please don't worry. I speak for all stoners when I say I will not waste my precious and expensive gummies on your child
30.10.2025 19:06 — 👍 1715 🔁 357 💬 36 📌 10Per the representative from Louisiana, has their spouse tried getting a job and not smoking crack? /s
30.10.2025 22:41 — 👍 168 🔁 32 💬 1 📌 0The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.
25.10.2025 18:02 — 👍 434 🔁 140 💬 33 📌 33🚫 NO DMS 🚫 NO CRYPTO 🚫 NO TELLING ME THAT SOMETHING IS "BOFA" 🚫 NO SLEIGHT OF HAND TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH YOU HAVE PULLED A QUARTER OUT OF MY EAR 🚫 NO PRETENDING TO HAVE "GOTTEN MY NOSE" 🚫 NO ASKING ME "PETE AND RE-PEAT WERE IN A BOAT, PETE FELL OUT, WHO WAS LEFT" 🚫
29.10.2025 17:26 — 👍 3829 🔁 679 💬 102 📌 11(solemnly) im smoking that dogshit
26.10.2025 22:02 — 👍 13 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0spotify.link/iGpveX9FJXb
24.10.2025 20:46 — 👍 13 🔁 1 💬 2 📌 0This is my sign to restock on Jager for the winter
23.10.2025 00:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0General: Bad news, Pennywise. The Russkies are beating us in the clown race. They're developing their own clown. Code name Smirnov.
Pennywise [reading dossier] "In Soviet Russia, clown laughs at you." What is this shit?
General: They're laughing at America, Pennywise. They're laughing at Freedom.
"How do you expect to win back men...?"
We don't want those men. They are the hot dogs on the floor of humanity and we still have all these nice prepped hamburger patties if someone would just let them cook.
As I had to point out many times during post #metoo years, no one is owed a big Hollywood contract. No one owed a comedy special. Now: No one is owed a Senate seat. This dude was not murdered & he’s not in jail. He made poor decisions & his actions now are sus & so he doesn’t get the job. The end!
22.10.2025 17:58 — 👍 397 🔁 93 💬 2 📌 2
