Mostly Dumb Essays

The Battle for Halifax: Democracy, Bike Lanes, and Strong-Mayer Shenanigans “I've been through Nova Scotia, Sydney to Halifax, I'll never take any pictures cause I know I'll just be right back” – City and Colour [1]

“The Battle for Halifax: Democracy, Bike Lanes, and Strong Mayor Shenanigans”

#nspoli #novascotia #deadpool

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Who is the funniest character in the NBA universe? [Media Chaos Lords Edition] “I don’t care what people think. People are stupid.” – Charles Barkley On January 29, 2023, the Boston Celtics hosted the Los Angeles Lakes for a regular season tilt. For one glorious evening, the …

“Who is the funniest character in the NBA universe? [Media Chaos Lords Edition]

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#nba #comedy #essays #basketball

Comedy is the Blues (for folks who can’t sing) “They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.” – Moe Szyslak Everyone does something to feel alive. That sweet stench of exhilaratio…

“Comedy is the Blues (for people who can’t sing”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #moe #daddyshome2 #willferrell #adamsandler #davidletterman

Charmin Soft Law Charmin Soft Law”It’s not a scarf; it’s one of the world’s finest pashminas.” – Louis Litt I spent the better part of seven years working as a personal injury law…

“Charmin Soft Law”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #law #farts #court #Brooklyn99 #TerryCrews #StarWars #Charmin

How to fix the NBA I: All Star Shame “Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.” -Dennis Rodman When I was growing up, I was a loose basketball fan. Gro…

“How to fix the NBA I: All-Star Shame”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #nba #allstar #shame #barkley #shaq

#Bluey

Pop Culture Punch-up I: Teenage Mutant Ninja Goats “Booyakasha!” – Michelangelo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I sometimes like to think that I’d make a good television or movie writer. I know, the hubris of a thirty-something lawyer with a po…

“Pop Culture Punch-up I: Teenage Mutant Ninja Goats”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #popculture #TMNT #Arthur #Magicschoolbus #Pooh #seasamestreet

Killer Cats and Carrot Glazes -By Tom Champion “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura Everyone has their own little, weird lore. Their own timeline of inside jokes, strange milestones, and transcende…

“Killer Cats and Carrot Glazes”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #cats #birds #family

Darth Deadbeat Dad -By Tom Champion “Sleep when your baby sleeps, everyone knows this classic tip. But I say, why stop there? Scream when your baby screams, take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl, and walk aroun…

“Darth Deadbeat Dad”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #darthvader #deadbeat #frozen #elsa #pokemon #ashketchum

Who gets the Canadian Tire money? -By Tom Champion “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” – Willam Shakespeare Everyone has a mental image of what ‘the law’ looks like – and by extension, what lawyers act like. …

“Who gets the Canadian Tire Money?”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #law #funny #canadiantire

“Tournament of Chumpions I: Eggs v Oatmeal”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #eggs #oatmeal #breakfast #chump

Shower Thoughts I: The Hubris of Google -By Tom Champion “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” — Patches Houlihan, Dodgeball Like many people, I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Why? I have no idea. Deep thinking i…

“Shower Thoughts I: The Hubris of Google”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #hubris #google #shower #chalamet

Jurassic Liabilities -By Tom Champion “I’d love to stand here and talk with you… but I’m not going to.” – Phil Connors, Groundhog Day In 2018, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom hit theaters as the sequel to 20…

“Jurassic Liabilities”

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#comedy #essays #law #lawsuit #civil #jurassicpark

Do I just have one of those faces? -By Tom Champion “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” – Jimmy Kimmel Dear reader, something has been on my mind lately. Something has …

“Do I just have one of those faces?”

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#comedy #essays #beard #printcredits #face #weird

Friar Laurence Sucks -By Tom Champion “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Gary Scott, The Office Fiction is a beautiful thing. It transports us. It changes us. It consoles us when we stumble …

“Friar Laurence Sucks”

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#comedy #essays #comedyessays #shakespeare #dumb #friarlaurence