The Dark Professor (rare archetype)

alright, so the data in my paper isn't real. but the fact that it *could* be real says a lot about society

my detractors are saying it's due to women's clothing lacking pockets. but such an explanation ignores that Claw Grip is highly heritable. women also share an evolutionary ancestor with praying mantises. coincidence? maybe. but maybe not. lots to consider

berries and powerful talismans are the most likely candidates for such objects

'The Claw Grip': Why Are Women Always Holding Thing? - The New York Times

i must look into this

it has never been more over for evo psych than it is right now. this was all i had left, and it's gone, it's fucking gone

the woke failed to account for [spins roulette wheel] polygenic scores

[average biologist]: i've been studying this conserved domain of unknown function for the past 2 years, and i still don't know what it's doing

[average race science guy]: i SEE the fitness landscape of evolution stretching back in time. i HEAR its symphony. and it says i'm correct about racial IQ

to quote Jar Jar, "peeyoosa" 🤣🤣

currently at the annual Conference for Racial Hygiene, and i notice a striking lack of leftists here, which just goes to show how little they care about hygiene

"how is it that babies are born with the innate knowledge of how to crash a car? it can't be evolutionary because cars are too recent. yet without fail, all newborn babies I put at the wheel successfully crash the vehicle in seconds" - Pernicus

you cannot fathom the depths of my mind

you, a dumb normal person watching HBO's Succession: "wow, what a scathing satire of late capitalism"

me, an evo psych professor who can actually understand HBO's Succession: "Logan Roy is old lion, Kendall Roy is da young lion"

but yes, we can only defeat Trump once we understand his evolutionary psychology, or something

i keep hearing that Pinker is a great writer, but that second sentence is very poorly written

just casually thinking about Elon's semen quality

I personally don't see how there's a threshold there

because he's primal

this is how i imagine he posted that tweet:

Geoffrey Miller (@primalpoly) tweets: Today I learned that almost nobody who comments on women having babies with billionaires has any understanding of the 'polygyny threshold model' (Orians, 1969) Pro tip: before stigmatizing 'single motherhood', consider.the genetic quality of the sire.

oh, you think Elon is a weird freak for impregnating random women and abandoning them? have you considered that my evo psych graph says he's based, actually?

Many with 200 IQ Explains the Secrets of Reality

whoah

my research funding is gone, my paycheck has dried up, and i've had to resort to to cannibalising my newborn child to fend off starvation, but i am still thankful to Elon Musk. he has given me selection pressure, which will let me evolve super intelligence and strength

you aren’t hearing from the dems because they’re hard at work down in the crispr lab growing vats of 2028 candidates twice as racist and 3x as old as biden

if your society is so fragile that "feminist criminology" can destroy it, then it probably deserves to get destroyed

i feel like there's been a miscommunication. i voted for Trump to cut the government funding for useless research, but instead he cut my research

this is NOT what i asked for!!

biology is just the study of goo. you're studying fucking goo

the golden ratio is everywhere!

only people with 200+ IQ can solve this. i solved it within 10 minutes, fyi

this would explain why he has a terrible personality