Danny Maguire

Cheese toasties are panini that dare to be themselves.

Recreating Glastonbury by watching it on iPlayer and never having cleaned my bathroom.

Sweat bunny

People talk to me like I wouldn't, in a heartbeat, give their kids kazoos

After the trolley problem get's suspended due to public transit cuts our tied down fellas get together to enjoy a sunset

bad news, everyone

Oh yeah nice one kid hook that hope for humanity right into my veins

ooo she sounds smart and hot wonder if she has a name!!!

Being bald is nice cause I have all this extra face.

lol, from UK satirical magazine Private Eye

"Dungarees" is English for I just shat myself.

Speed dating is where you have to tell Keanu reeves a little about yourself or this bus will explode

I'm told that I used to go swimming in circular coral reefs, but I can't remember atoll.

Nope.

Keys work too, not the same though.

Not allowed to play basketball at the courts anymore for shouting "THAT'S HOOP SEX" every time I sunk a 3 pointer.

Proctologist: Of course you can trust someone with an advanced degree in buttholes. Take off your pants

After finally watching Wicked, I've decided to dedicate my life to Satan.

Would recommend.

Inside of you are 10,000 leagues under the sea.

Handmade with Love Why I think the tide will turn against A.I. art

Totally agree, and I've been saying this for a while:

tealcartoons.substack.com/p/handmade-w...

@drlindseyfitz.bsky.social

This isn't the best time, but thanks for asking.

Memory foam mattresses must make breakups that much harder.

Read the instuctions wrong, it's actually Silence of the Lambs. Much more my speed.

For fuck's sake! Charriots of Fire. Something I just can't handle.

Jacob Rees-Mogg wants to place Nigel Farage in the House of Lords.

RT if you want to flush them both down the toilet.

Magnetic pen + coins + my arse = the future.