I donβt wanna but I gotta
20.02.2026 06:21 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0@kimmalien.bsky.social
Reptilian humanoid in a cozy skin suit Skrrts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rzx3l5xolmcvx5zcu3t3bl7o/feed/aaac25lduykog
I donβt wanna but I gotta
20.02.2026 06:21 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Who the fuck do you think you are
20.02.2026 06:18 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Iβm on my third rn
20.02.2026 04:13 β π 10 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Cats taught me to live 9 lives of crime
20.02.2026 04:10 β π 57 π 15 π¬ 3 π 0i think cats understand crime
18.02.2026 15:46 β π 540 π 98 π¬ 27 π 21who just straight up drinks milk, you know that shit was squirted out of them wiggly plump fingery boys dangling off an animal with like 87 stomachs right?
20.02.2026 01:47 β π 101 π 26 π¬ 17 π 2An Epstein list AND an alien list in Q1 of 2026. What a time to be alive.
20.02.2026 03:22 β π 42 π 11 π¬ 2 π 1Life hack: instead of paying movers just give all your stuff away
18.02.2026 16:11 β π 152 π 47 π¬ 14 π 1i order the batter-fried fish burrito every time because i am a creature of halibut
20.02.2026 00:06 β π 95 π 19 π¬ 8 π 1I am no longer following any new men here because Iβve collected enough of them to wittily rewrite my posts, rendering me almost redundant.
17.02.2026 09:23 β π 38 π 7 π¬ 2 π 0*looking at the almost empty container* i am now more peanut butter filled pretzels than woman
19.02.2026 16:55 β π 97 π 21 π¬ 6 π 0Honestly, when I come back as a ghost Iβm probably just gonna mess with your audio settings
20.02.2026 00:33 β π 127 π 45 π¬ 16 π 1i bet it feels so good for the bowling ball when you stick your fingers in it
19.02.2026 23:32 β π 238 π 64 π¬ 14 π 0And with his last breathe his last mite of strength he jorked his peanits for one β¦ last β¦ time β¦
20.02.2026 01:33 β π 12 π 3 π¬ 0 π 0I would add one where they least expect it
20.02.2026 03:06 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0So tru bestie
20.02.2026 01:34 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0[writing a yelp review] I specifically asked for no tomatoes but they put tomatoes anyway so I accidentally ate a piece of tomato and I canβt stop fucking gagging and farting
20.02.2026 01:33 β π 25 π 1 π¬ 2 π 0crabs probably think theyβre walking forwards
19.02.2026 15:32 β π 148 π 38 π¬ 7 π 1that puckered up kissy face selfie isnβt going to get you out of this one
17.02.2026 13:25 β π 44 π 18 π¬ 2 π 1(KUNG FU SCREAM)
16.02.2026 12:25 β π 48 π 27 π¬ 5 π 1This cat food says it's rich in turkey but I reckon it's just an exchange rate thing
19.02.2026 00:44 β π 89 π 22 π¬ 3 π 1Live a little. No, not like that.
19.02.2026 13:01 β π 68 π 23 π¬ 1 π 0can you imagine the first fucker to ever eat crackers and cheese
18.02.2026 02:58 β π 143 π 22 π¬ 14 π 0I talk to myself in my main character voice only
19.02.2026 17:54 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0if you live alone do you talk to yourself and how many different whimsical voices do you use
19.02.2026 15:41 β π 76 π 20 π¬ 18 π 2You post too much one day and then you just canβt stop, thatβs how they get you
09.06.2024 21:52 β π 170 π 50 π¬ 4 π 3bringing home the gold in being weird and off-putting
18.02.2026 04:47 β π 80 π 32 π¬ 1 π 1shaving my pubes into a helipad so heβll do that thing i like (land his helicopter on my isla nublar and send his scientists out to discover a mad billionaireβs dinosaur island)
18.02.2026 05:40 β π 145 π 38 π¬ 6 π 1βGood to know.β
But it was not, in fact, good to know.
my daily affirmations are just screams
18.02.2026 12:21 β π 158 π 71 π¬ 5 π 2