(involuntarily offline for 12 hours) this little maneuver is gonna cost us 56 internet years
20.02.2026 07:41 β π 127 π 44 π¬ 4 π 1@kimmalien.bsky.social
Reptilian humanoid in a cozy skin suit Skrrts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rzx3l5xolmcvx5zcu3t3bl7o/feed/aaac25lduykog
(involuntarily offline for 12 hours) this little maneuver is gonna cost us 56 internet years
20.02.2026 07:41 β π 127 π 44 π¬ 4 π 1Wanna see my fight or fuck response?
03.02.2024 22:07 β π 57 π 21 π¬ 5 π 1I took an antacid that expired in 2021 and god revealed to me that ranch dressing is just gentrified salsa
18.02.2026 01:10 β π 304 π 60 π¬ 5 π 1in lieu as a substitute for instead rather than an alternative
19.02.2026 23:11 β π 23 π 7 π¬ 0 π 0Sorry Iβm busy making my place look as unwelcoming as possible so nobody wants to stay here long.
20.02.2026 13:38 β π 22 π 6 π¬ 1 π 0i wake up, i crave bread
20.02.2026 12:27 β π 73 π 8 π¬ 8 π 0men are so annoying
20.02.2026 13:47 β π 21 π 2 π¬ 0 π 1βWell youβd have more money if you made your food instead of paying DoorDash.β
Meanwhile, capitalism: βIf DoorDash costs that much then certainly we can charge some more for groceries.β
Who called it thrift store shopping and not Goodwill hunting?
20.02.2026 13:50 β π 145 π 37 π¬ 3 π 1if we want to starve out an island nation may i
suggest the caymans
*knocking on your airplane window* do you have me muted?
20.02.2026 13:56 β π 111 π 35 π¬ 6 π 1I donβt wanna but I gotta
20.02.2026 06:21 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Who the fuck do you think you are
20.02.2026 06:18 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Iβm on my third rn
20.02.2026 04:13 β π 11 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Cats taught me to live 9 lives of crime
20.02.2026 04:10 β π 87 π 26 π¬ 3 π 0i think cats understand crime
18.02.2026 15:46 β π 544 π 99 π¬ 27 π 21who just straight up drinks milk, you know that shit was squirted out of them wiggly plump fingery boys dangling off an animal with like 87 stomachs right?
20.02.2026 01:47 β π 118 π 30 π¬ 17 π 2An Epstein list AND an alien list in Q1 of 2026. What a time to be alive.
20.02.2026 03:22 β π 69 π 18 π¬ 3 π 1Life hack: instead of paying movers just give all your stuff away
18.02.2026 16:11 β π 161 π 48 π¬ 14 π 1i order the batter-fried fish burrito every time because i am a creature of halibut
20.02.2026 00:06 β π 107 π 22 π¬ 8 π 2I am no longer following any new men here because Iβve collected enough of them to wittily rewrite my posts, rendering me almost redundant.
17.02.2026 09:23 β π 39 π 7 π¬ 2 π 0*looking at the almost empty container* i am now more peanut butter filled pretzels than woman
19.02.2026 16:55 β π 105 π 23 π¬ 6 π 0Honestly, when I come back as a ghost Iβm probably just gonna mess with your audio settings
20.02.2026 00:33 β π 193 π 66 π¬ 24 π 1i bet it feels so good for the bowling ball when you stick your fingers in it
19.02.2026 23:32 β π 268 π 74 π¬ 16 π 0And with his last breathe his last mite of strength he jorked his peanits for one β¦ last β¦ time β¦
20.02.2026 01:33 β π 12 π 3 π¬ 0 π 0I would add one where they least expect it
20.02.2026 03:06 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0So tru bestie
20.02.2026 01:34 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0[writing a yelp review] I specifically asked for no tomatoes but they put tomatoes anyway so I accidentally ate a piece of tomato and I canβt stop fucking gagging and farting
20.02.2026 01:33 β π 33 π 3 π¬ 2 π 0crabs probably think theyβre walking forwards
19.02.2026 15:32 β π 164 π 43 π¬ 9 π 1that puckered up kissy face selfie isnβt going to get you out of this one
17.02.2026 13:25 β π 45 π 18 π¬ 2 π 1