SpatialKimtamine

Resting my eyes until I feel abundance on a molecular level

Tossing my boss around like a rag doll

first date idea we choke eachother a little then go get gelato

I’ll burn myself for the right food idgaf

Egghog

the seventh hog war has begun as seafaring hogs are breaching the shores of the swamp

Odin, a brown lab / shar pei mix, lying on a white comforter with a red and black plaid robe draped over him. he is staring directly at the camera with ears at attention and a neck roll that looks like a scarf

ok geez it’s YOUR robe

they begged me to be the queen of venus but i said no bsky needs me to stay here and post

I say I'm fine a lot for someone who's still alive

The jizz beans

My youngest child is 9, so I figure this is my last Christmas wearing the full Santa suit and beard unless that's your kink or whatever

Turns out I’m too insignificant to have any haters

Yes, age is just a number but does it have to be that big?

One of the biggest things my dad taught me was how wrong it is to think of family as "my four and no more." If your family is hard for you and you dread holidays as a result, maybe you can spend time with someone who would love kindness this year. Hit me up if you don't see anyone who needs it :)

FYI, this is my profile pic year round.

I dunno man, santa says he's the one who invented coca cola

boss make a dollar i make a dime that's why i'm fucking his mom

it’s too cold to get naked and take a shower i’ll just keep putting more outfits on to hide the smell

foul cretinous penis how dare you betray my ethical clarity

If I was Santa I’d run so far away from those scary ass elves

Let’s turn this Christmas stocking into a cum sock

Ho ho ho

Ask your doctor what my problem is

Dreaming of a white and sticky Christmas iykwim

Keep me reposted

keep me posted*

*please repost all my dumb jokes

That's so rude, how would you like it if danger laughed in the face of you? Huh?

Pulling a report that will confirm if you are a little bitch or not.

Happy birthday 🥳 I’m omw

Scheduled my birthday dinner for 4pm so there is much more time for crying.