Alan Melikdjanian

Captain, please… I need some real food. My doctor (podcast I listen to) says if I don’t raise my protein intake by 1000%, I’ll melt through my clothes.

31.08.2025 03:43 — 👍 76    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I guess I just don't know how to write this video. It's comin' out terrible. Writing is the worst.

29.07.2025 01:38 — 👍 49    🔁 0    💬 3    📌 0

I’ll miss you, MuppetVision 3D 😢

08.06.2025 04:02 — 👍 165    🔁 6    💬 4    📌 3

Do NOT take nighttime Theraflu at 6AM.

10.05.2025 13:50 — 👍 23    🔁 1    💬 3    📌 0

No, world, YOU go to sleep.

05.05.2025 04:23 — 👍 37    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

We laughed at their misadventures, but in the reality, Goofy would probably have been deemed unfit to maintain legal custody of Max.

04.05.2025 14:58 — 👍 31    🔁 1    💬 2    📌 0

It’s time to stop autocorrecting vlogger to blogger.

03.05.2025 16:36 — 👍 31    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Sometimes there’s just randomly a Soviet police car on a street.

27.04.2025 16:49 — 👍 93    🔁 4    💬 1    📌 0

NOOOOOOOooo

26.04.2025 18:48 — 👍 30    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Wait, Captain no!

26.04.2025 18:46 — 👍 40    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

“Dragon’s Den” makes sense. Dragons hoard treasure. You’re a hero coming in trying to get it; might succeed or might get killed. “Shark Tank” has nothing to do with anything. No one goes to a shark tank. Sharks in a tank can’t get me and I don’t need anything from them.

28.03.2025 03:20 — 👍 70    🔁 5    💬 0    📌 0

wtf am I doing with my life

03.03.2025 03:53 — 👍 57    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

What the...

31.01.2025 17:57 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0