Alan Melikdjanian

Today was a pretty nice day.

This 25-min slow-talkin' mess needs to be tightened up, word by word, down to like 21 mins.

Not sure how that was supposed to be an idea.

I'm going to reset the stupid lights, reapply the stupid makeup, and shoot the stupid missing 5 seconds, matching it as best I can, tomorrow 😔

I'm taking the day off from editing and using it to just vent here about this 'till it's time to go to sleep.

It must be that I don't actually know how to read. My brain PRETENDS to read but I'm just going by a vague memory of what I made up. Like that condition where people lose vision but the brain thinks it can see so they make stuff up.

The script was open in front of me the entire day. I was looking at it between every take to see what comes next. I shot the part where the line goes, covered that section of the page. But without saying the line. And it's not like, a tiny exclamation or word. It's two whole sentences.

This is literally the only thing I have a formal education in and I can apparently only KIND of do it, SOMETIMES.

For like the 50th time in my career, I missed filming an important line in a scene that I wrote the script for, used software to meticulously shot-plan, and was shooting on my own with no distractions while closely following a live-updating schedule.

Captain, please… I need some real food. My doctor (podcast I listen to) says if I don’t raise my protein intake by 1000%, I’ll melt through my clothes.

I guess I just don't know how to write this video. It's comin' out terrible. Writing is the worst.

I’ll miss you, MuppetVision 3D 😢

Do NOT take nighttime Theraflu at 6AM.

No, world, YOU go to sleep.

We laughed at their misadventures, but in the reality, Goofy would probably have been deemed unfit to maintain legal custody of Max.

It’s time to stop autocorrecting vlogger to blogger.

Sometimes there’s just randomly a Soviet police car on a street.

NOOOOOOOooo

Wait, Captain no!

“Dragon’s Den” makes sense. Dragons hoard treasure. You’re a hero coming in trying to get it; might succeed or might get killed. “Shark Tank” has nothing to do with anything. No one goes to a shark tank. Sharks in a tank can’t get me and I don’t need anything from them.

wtf am I doing with my life

What the...