shipboat captain

i feel like don draper in the last episode of mad men rn

just remembered i deserve this

no one feels any remorse for the way they treat me

when i inevitably have to stop drinking in my 30s i’m either gonna be the most enlightened guy you’ve ever met or i’m gonna kill myself

i’m a sucker for a twink wearing a shirt and tie with a leather jacket

my curse is that the people who care hate me and everyone else doesn’t care

one of these days i’ll be able to watch little miss sunshine without crying and that will be one of the worst days of my life

i had a dream within a dream that tried to worsen my delusions

can it really be explained by “mental illness” if it’s something that is objectively happening repeatedly outside of my mind?

i don’t think i can ever be close to another person again

without fail, people are compelled to hate me whenever i confess my closeness to them. whatever the universe has planned for me, i am meant to face it alone

i don’t know what i did to deserve this but whenever i try to clue someone in on the grand cosmic joke the universe decides to remove them from my life

i think i should see a psychiatrist because i’m like 80% sure i have bpd

it’s like it gives them permission to start taking advantage of me or start ignoring me

one mistake i will never make again is telling someone i trust them

i mean seriously what do you gain by publicly humiliating your employees? what do you hope to achieve other than my persisting resentment?

can’t wait to work with my boss tomorrow after being put on blast for not being trustworthy. i’m sure i will be very helpful and productive

i can tell which of my friends aren’t true turtle fans by whether they think the turtles wanted to fuck april

i have never understood how a piece of art can be “emotionally manipulative.” what does that even mean? that it made you feel something? against your will?

if you wanna know how neurotic i am, whenever i get up to use the bathroom during a movie i worry about the other people in the theater judging me

i am haunted by the smell of vinegar

the feeling i get before smoking a cigarette is the same feeling i got before beating off as a kid

practicing restraint. i’m winning

i hope i get worse again so i have something to think about

the winter has come to claim me

it’s time to watch taxi driver again i think

i’m the charlie sheen of george costanzas

i like to play this game with myself where i turn on do not disturb and see how long i can go without checking to see if anyone has texted me (no one ever does)

i am a weak person

i think it helps if you’ve seen beau is afraid. both movies are shown through the lens of paranoid protagonists whose worldviews are dramatically skewed