shipboat captain

morbid curiosity is the only thing keeping me alive at this point

looks vessels in my face keep bursting

christmas ales are the most misleading beers on the market

i have the same kind of lisp as emma stone

yorgos lanthimos is the best thing that’s ever happened to jesse plemons

my boss just said 67 in a meeting i’m quitting

my understanding of microwaves is that they heat up water molecules. fascinating that all of my plates seem to have a higher water content than any food

bukowski was wrong about one thing. the poor are good to the poor

i’m convinced rockstar is working with israel or the cia and gta 6 is the carrot on the stick that keeps us willing to stay alive for another year

accused warlock criss angel comes forward

nyt opinion: it’s time for us to come to terms with criss angel’s dark warlockian tendencies

criss angel’s warlockian tendencies uncovered

sabrina carpenter kinda reminds me of the lady in the radiator

in the mood for some honey yogurt and yummy water

president xi please liberate us

terminal autism

you either have the will to bitch or the will to fuck

seriously what do people think commas are for? why do i constantly see people using random commas, in sentences?

i wasn’t allowed to listen to the monster mash as a kid because i would get too scared

scariest part of a skeleton is probably the bones

steve harvey oswald

the internet is one of the largest places online, but it's still small enough to fit inside your computer, which is extraordinary

smoking crack out of a comically long gandalf pipe

they should invent a way of killing yourself that doesn’t make your parents sad

i’m never gonna get better. i’m only gonna find new ways to intellectualize my suffering

been entertaining the concept of the platonic ideal lately

please just start unnecessarily roughing chiefs players

what good is an electronic measurement when you spot the ball shorter than it was actually downed? kansas city refs strike again

twin peaks season 1: great
twin peaks season 2: bad
twin peaks fwwm: great
twin peaks the return: bad

now that i’m 25 i can’t drink like i used to. i had 3 beers last night and i just got tired