YULE REGRET THIS

remembering one of the all-time greatest twitter posts

The rest of them search on

Anne Arundel County man accused of pulling gun on Christmas carolers An Anne Arundel County man is charged with pointing a gun at three 12-year-old Christmas carolers who knocked on his front door.

Being perfectly honest my first thought reading this and looking at the date was "that's a biiiiit early for caroling"
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Go get a good night’s sleep, Baltimore

Every person talking about AI sounds like that one nerd tweeting at Elon about the time they hung out and he ordered a pizza

Hey guys we need to raise your power bills again because the jackoff material factory needs more power to turn your mom and daughter’s pictures into pornography and we need you to pay for it

I know it doesn’t but it kinda looks like his hoodie says “Adolph Don’t Stop”

Good job dipshit

If the sandwich don't split, you must acquit.

Another day, another “get fucked” to a guy who owes his career to 9/11

Very unusual. Most of the time when MAGAs get together to celebrate a book they've never read, it's on a Sunday

the video being projected behind all the performers on stage

lmao david byrne showed the video of the ice agents tripping over themselves while trying to run after a biker on wacker drive during the “life during wartime” segment of his chicago show tonight

Tired: Bruce Springsteen biopic about recording Nebraska

Wired: Leonard Cohen biopic about recording Hallelujah

Every day I wake up and feel 0.0000001% worse getting out of bed than I did the day before. They should invent a word or phrase to describe this

I think it would have been at least a little funny if they had given the Nobel Peace Prize posthumously to Ch*rlie K*rk

Sorry to hear man

My wife had to wake me up from a somewhat-recurring nightmare about being in a house that was haunted and being fucked with by the ghost. Yay October

Well hey on the bright side maybe the clock is finally ticking on that chud Harbs

Can’t let the cream sit out too long

lotta totally sincere rapture believers out here not turning off autopay on their bills or giving their soon to be unneeded possessions away! which epistle is the one where Paul says to hedge thee thy bets on the Lord, in case thy math was shitty

james cameron walks up to whiteboard with TOEJAM and EARL written on it. he erases the "and" and writes Vs.

Hey chuds don’t worry about me I already called my boss at 3am every night this week to tell them I thought Charlie Kirk was a piece of shit

going to a guy named Mose's barn for green corn and having to listen to him dick around on a washboard for 45 minutes

It felt like it took twenty minutes and it was incredible

Great news for the site that we’re starting to get main characters on here.

Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at the tv but it’s me everytine someone takes a route that makes no sense in The Baltimorons (it was excellent)

Dangerously close to becoming a crank yard sign guy

Weird how we haven’t heard much from the “don’t be upset he’s in heaven now” freaks huh?

When we eulogize political figures who have died we usually do so with snippets of their own words that exemplify the essence of their life’s work. So let’s see them, all of the Kirk quotes in which we see him urging his followers to embrace the better angels of their nature.