Slideshow Bob

Stock price chart showing the 64% decline over the last six months for duolingo

Duolingo announced it was going “AI-first” just over six months ago. Since then its stock is down 64%.

“As tiny as some microplastics” is my new “cellar door”

benjamin button, dressing up as santa for the 13th year in a row:

“ugh im getting too young for this shit!”

They liked being able to sexually coerce the naive neighbor girl and have her deal with literally all of the consequences, and for those consequences to be as punitive as possible so she stays reliant on men.

dhsgov Deliver justice to criminal illegal aliens. Become a deportation judge. Save your country.

DOJ's newest recruitment ad features Judge Dredd, the comic satire about the dangers of lawless policing and authoritarian power

Look, I’ve seen Monster Factory, and I don’t believe that anyone’s going middle slider on their baby. People are gonna get blowholes and bear claws in like three generations if this shit goes unchecked.

I think that’s Billy Ray Cyrus.

When all is done, the OU undergrad will have scored a 6 figure right-wing media contract, the higher ed press will still be talking about grading rubrics for conservative views, the trans grad student will still be getting death threats and have her life/job ruined. And everyone else will move on.

Magaziner: "This is not about the drugs. This is about oil."

These people want legal clearance for murder at scale, and they can just say it out loud, in public. Meanwhile, in here, if we get a little colorful expressing our derision for these monsters, the ban-hammer finds us with a pointed quickness.

A frog standing up facing away. It looks like a circle with a great dumper.

Al Pacino bellowing “She’s got a great ass!” in Heat

Authorities Abandon Search For Missing Girl After Finding Huge Bass While Dredging Lake

Authorities Abandon Search For Missing Girl After Finding Huge Bass While Dredging Lake

Einstein's works enter public domain next year! at last we get a queer retelling of the theory of relativity

hakeem jeffries: *slowly winks and mouths “I got this” at the camera* our psycho pedophile president has secured the border and was right to pardon an anti-abortion dem indicted on bribery charges

For anybody who thinks being a U.S. citizen will save them, or that being white will save them, this is a blonde white woman who is a US citizen and the thugs took her too.
Anyway, for the 80 billionth time, stand up for everybody’s rights

ME *traps wasp under a cup*

MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME: *appears & sets down 2 more cups*

ME: no

MAGICIAN GHOST: *starts to shuffle them*

El Fuerte

Me wearing glasses, giving the experience a thumbs down.

I’m a glasses bitch now, and this shit sucks.

No Xena, invalid poll

The Office, Parks & Rec, and Modern Family are exempt due to being documentaries. SNL counts, so any cast member that returns to host has to do their monologue about the dream, so Shane Gillis will explain that episode of the tire shop show where he buys a gun to Sarah Squirm next time he’s on.

Game show hosting gigs and long running commercials are in, so that means the new Scrubs reboot starts with Turk and JD realizing they both dreamt about hawking t-mobile, and Drew Carey would have to explain that yes, Oswald, you were in my improv show, but got outshone by Wayne Brady.

Animation and video games are excluded, but live action narration is in, so that means that Danny Tanner has to explain whatever the fuck Ted Mosby’s deal was to Joey, the woodchuck, and the surviving members of the Rippers.

Movies don’t count, so Picard doesn’t dream about Wolverine, but he does remember that one where was a drugged out Larry King. Maybe he tells Troi about it and she tries to take him off active duty and he has to prove his competence to get reinstated by Starfleet. That’s a solid season arc.

Every actor in two long running shows should have to do the Bob Newhart dream gag finale.

reboots have to have that episode 1. Friends reboot? Rachel wakes up and calls Monica about being a news anchor and Monica’s like, I hung out in Cali with my friend and we drank serving bowls of wine dailt

I saw a bts thing on this bitch filming a real person standing in water for his movie, then decided that the guys leg needed to be an inch to the left, and so he cgi’ed the leg over and rendered crazy water effects. That might be why the shit is expensive.

Finally my algorithm is fixed

The day after right-wing influencer Charlie Kirk's assassination, Patel reportedly refused to disembark from the FBI jet in Utah without an FBI raid jacket. Agents working on the Kirk case were sent scrambling to find one, and when they did, it was a female jacket. He reportedly threw a fit when he saw the sleeves were missing Velcro patches. Patel refused to leave the plane until he got the missing patches, which ended up being taken off the jackets of actual SWAT team members.

Armando Iannucci eat your heart out.

When I die, I don’t want to be cremated. I want to be taxidermied and bolted to my cousin’s passenger seat to get him unfettered access to the carpool lane.

a lot of people debating the merits of that dogshit essay meanwhile the girl’s mom is retweeting demands to ban all trans people from teaching at any level. it’s forest for the trees shit

If a joke is about sex, she likes it. She thinks everything else is tacky.