Rip Van Cremastericle

Someone please kill the brown family

Unfortunately there's only one cure for Scott Adam's and it's to become soy.

Scott Adams • @ScottAdamsSays • 7h g .. On Monday, I will ask President Trump, via X, to help save my life. He offered to help me if I needed it. I need it. As many of you know, I have metastasized prostate cancer. My healthcare provider, Kaiser of Northern California, has approved my application to receive a Show more • 5.6K L7 12K 67K ill 7.5M只企 Robert F. Kennedy Jr # @Robert..•47m g Scott. How do I reach you? The President wants to help. 322 17 773 5.4K ihi 73K Chamath Palihapitiya © @cha...•43m g ... Just connected you guys via text. 64 1734 930 ill 16K

Healthcare but only for my friends

It physically hurts me to think about how good Curt Schilling was in the postseason

I just hope somewhere Stan Goldfarb is getting the emails too.

Lmao it has the exact same beat as a Christopher Guest gag

It should be a federal holiday because it is a fun and community oriented holiday that encourages socialization. But also because of this.

Halloween should be a federal holiday.

Her type is men built like bobbleheads

Okay hear me out, you give me another 600 million dollars to invest in my falling robot service and I will give you 600 million back to use your robots and together we can make 1.2 billion dollars.

Watch out for Ea Nasir this Halloween!

“Now let me get this straight. … We hired you to babysit the kids, and instead you cooked and ate them both?”

“Now let me get this straight. … We hired you to
babysit the kids, and instead you cooked and ate them
both?”

Oh my god

Tucker Carlson and gay incel nazi mamas boy, Nick Fuentes.

“We noticed you from across the bar and couldn’t help but admire your physiognomy and skull shape…”

Pop Base tweets: "Kim Kardashian said on ‘The Kardashians’ that she believes the moon landing was fake: “They’re gonna say I’m crazy no matter what, but like, go to TikTok. See for yourself. […] There’s no gravity on the moon. Why is the flag blowing? The shoes that they have in the museum that they wore on the moon is a different print in the photos. Why are there no stars?”"

"go to TikTok. See for yourself."

Philip Larkin’s this be the verse mangled into Ozymandias, the text reads They Oz you up, your mandyias. They may not mean to, but they do. They give you vast and trunkless legs A sunken shattered visage too. But they were Ozzed up in their turn By Mandyias upon the sand Who half the time had wrinkled lips And half in sneering cold command. Oz hands on mandyias to man. Like mighty works atop a shelf Look on them early as you can Ye mighty and despair yourself

yes. YES.

I don't think I could successfully pick a pocket if I practiced 8 hours every day for a thousand years

There is not a single piece of media conservatives understand

In hindsight it’s too bad that Y2K didn’t shut down all of the computers.

Gremlins 1: transformation driven by the position of the moon and not social custom.

Gremlins 2: gremlin starts to revert to mogwai as analog clock goes backwards, but it breaks the clock and stays a gremlin.

HAPPENING NOW: Portland Police Commander Franz Schoening testifies that federal officers on Oct. 18 barraged protesters with crowd control munitions — not because of any violence but because another federal officer accidentally shot tear gas onto the roof of the ICE facility.

every Democrat in the country should not only endorse Mamdani within three hours but they should denounce and condemn Andrew Cuomo and demand he retire from politics forever

The Onion is literally the only good thing in my life excepting of course my wife and most of my kids.

It cannot possibly be better

If Cuomo wins the mayoral race I will never eat another meat ball.

So you're saying they are both cheugy

PaRappa the Rappa battles Ghislaine Maxwell