caden cockburn

JRPG stands for Jewish Role-Playing Game

represent

just one day after my bad luck brian thigh tattoo healed i tripped over my shoe lace and shredded the entire thing off on the pavement

if you’ve got a 40 hour flight it’s perfect

ninety percent of the shovelware on the Nintendo eshop are games called like My Penis Diary and it’s just a collection of slide puzzles

yeah but then you buy them from the ralph’s frozen section in a box labeled “digiorno” where you then proceed to eat it raw and moan

if you tell me you prefer cold pizza I imagine you eating digornio straight out of the box and moaning

getting in touch with my inner child by shitting myself in a McDonald’s play place tube and refusing to climb out

the demand for a cow tools prequel has never been higher. what were the cows like before tools?

do you have a fave ep from the new season

a new game is released inspired by the events: it’s called death penalty and it plays a little something like twister

twenty armor-clad swat enforcers crash through my window and detain me for 3D printing an array of classic milton-bradley board games for my children

doctor 14: it’s shaped like utah

jubilee just posted a video called 1 Weird Scab vs 20 Doctors Opinions

McDonald’s GameCube kiosk with two protruding controllers

my summer project is soldering a mcdonald’s gamecube kiosk into my chest/stomache so my friends can play melee on me

remake the psycho shower scene w this

normies remember the first time they heard the Beatles.. but real music heads remember the first time they heard fantano review them

theyre going to be calling me tony food court hawk

i corrupted the prohibitor chip embedded in my frontal cortex during a freak boating incident and now all of the things im not supposed to do (smoke weed, eat boogers, make dildos out of playdoh) are my prime operatives

i choose my words with upmost precision

i was blacklisted from the competitive scene when i stood up after setting a world record and 47 uneaten hot dogs slid out of my ass

i caught the weight guesser at the carnival googling all of the answers

thank you, imagine what I’ll make when i find out about triplets

same i was just too shy to put it in the video

tried to make a video in one hour

“this is giving me boss baby vibes” i say as im chained to a folding chair and tortured by an infant voiced by alec baldwin

the next level after the disney rash is getting the disney scar

kamala’s new book 107 days is about her arm getting trapped under a large boulder when hiking in Moab, Utah

absolutely gut-wrenched right now. i discovered a zipper on my dog’s stomach, and after carefully opening it a bunch of batteries and wires spilled out. i adopted him three years ago and had no idea he was secretly a robotic invention

oh this room would be just perfect for a holy beacon