caden cockburn

i can feel you spelling poop for 33 points it’s not funny

birthmark on my back that looks like a full scrabble board down to the accurately placed triple word scores

Yo anyone got that 3hr video of Steven Crowder sucking his own dick behind bullet proof glass

i was choking on a chicken bone at popeye’s when a pair of gloved hands swooped onto my stomach and saved my life with the Heimlich maneuver. It was Bugs Bunny. i asked how can i repay you and he pointed at his crotch and said “choke on this, doc.” All Celebrities Are The Same.

irish people are genetically predisposed to a mental disorder known as Luck

sorry when I post something nasty I get a metallic taste in my mouth and have to take it down

pray that God’s toilet never flushes; let it always overflow

oops! my music is meant to be listened to not just heard :)

releasing pop music under my alias Drew Delicanto

wringing the gogurt into the sink, drying the tubes out, and making a beautiful plastic headdress

drawing of a cool babysitter

babysitter doodle

burping my own leitmotif

twin brothers with matching prince albert gemstone piercings

i just got a push notification from my bug tracking app too

im sorry I spilled salt on your dog and melted it into a puddle

my big fat Facebook wedding

gifted my yoga teacher a shiny red apple and he set it on the corner of his mat

girl scout cookie ai surge pricing

the new iphone will have mexican jumping bean compatibility

r/lifeprotips contender

i drove how long to Disneyland and you’re saying donald the duck doesn’t kiss guests?

they’re a subtle yet suave group

boring dull comic I made Panel 1: bald dude asks a guy with hair “what’s your secret? Your hair is amazing!” Panel 2: the handsomely haired man says “good genetics man” Panel 3: the bald man, now revealed to be not wearing pants, says “oh that’s cool. I’m on a paid discord called The Knights of Troy, and we’re basically a group of really good guys who are constantly coming up with solid-gold ploys to court females and get them to marry us slash suck out mature cocks and kiss us on the lips and play stardew valley with us.”

curious george betrayed me

gen delta to their kids: if you don’t eat your metaverse peas you will not be going to camp zorb this weekend

what ails you child

are there young girls out there with posters of the rizzler hanging on their walls

i am merely a vessel for His thoughts

they were just upset the secret menu had been compromised

this is bait