raymz

We need to go back to Christmaxxing

🥺❤️

The way to understand this stuff is that centrism is not a governing philosophy. It is merely an electoral strategy without principles or programmatic solutions of any kind. It’s the embodiment of “I want to be elected because I want to be elected, not because I want to do anything, god forbid”

a man in a blue shirt is making a funny face while looking at a computer screen . ALT: a man in a blue shirt is making a funny face while looking at a computer screen .

Me experiencing this thought now

TIL that the earliest recorded use of the word fuck was in 33 A.D. by Jesus, on the cross

Thank you. I just had to explain to a bunch of people I don’t know why I’m cry-laughing, god damnit

Reasonable people can disagree but no one can dispute that I am mommy’s big handsome boy

That’s the Irish spelling

Nobody yet. It’s on the docket for SCOTUS’ next term

If there was ever an avatar of an “Epstein guy” Jerry has got to be in the picture

There is no way that it is not a source of disorientating puzzlement to Cowboys fans that Jerry Jones isn’t in the Epstein files

Read it aloud with a strong German accent to get the full effect

What do you mean I lost. I ate more wet t-shirts than anybody

Look at that face! 😍

Me (watching Olympic figure skating): Holy shit, that was amazing
NBC Commentator: That’s terrible, he should go to jail for that

In some circles it’s also called cum

If he needs it, I will be happy to start a gofundme to send this kid to college/congress

Can’t help but think that if more of us just said, “Okay,” and swung away, the world be a better place today

But you better not spill the splooge

If your testicles could talk, this is what they’d sound like

if elon had a normal dick he absolutely would have posted it by now

The GOP's three genders

Can’t, I’m busy bundling my home and auto insurance the way they used to in the bible

I can’t imagine what it takes to enter politics, get elected, rise to the office of speaker, second in the line of succession with the ability to make history, and flush it all down the toilet to be a bootlicker for an addled, racist sex pest

The Patriots can still win this if Mike Pence has the courage to do the right thing

When the Patriots lose, humanity wins

If Charlie Puth were to disappear he would be Charlie Poof

Me (watching Olympic figure skating): Holy shit, that was amazing
NBC Commentator: That’s terrible, he should go to jail for that

Imagine how powerful you would feel breastfeeding an Olympic athlete. That’s what my faith in our Lord Jesus Christ does for me, every day