Papa Smirk

Everybody's got something to hide, 'cept for me and my monkey

And worse sartorial instincts.

Reskeet with a tweet or a meme by which you’ve been personally attacked <3

Nostalgia never actually looks like the thing it purports to remember.

Well this is adorable

Does the lovely beast have a name yet? My vote is for Humphrey, irrespective of sex or gender.

Gonna have to quit my adhd meds to get my jaw unclenched, and don't nobody want me to do that.

Pumpkin spice season looks great on you.

Just don't go crazy trying to hyperfemimize it, because you might end up as a javelina. Although there's nothing inherently wrong with the wee wild peccaries.

Fair point. I'll say this: Rogue One is a worthy entrant.
I'll leave it at that.

The absence of Rogue One calls the validity of your ranking into question.

I have never been less erect.

Lord, grant me the confidence of a Premier League player going out in public with one of those haircuts.

I'll be your friend. I can pass for a normie.

The soundtrack is every bit as gorgeous as your model, and your model is truly stellar. Dee is smashing.

Done. Hang in there.

I thought that said "tight sweater", and I was, like, every fucking day, bro.

You and me both, buddy. You and me both.

Can it be that they don't want it so badly that they're willing to just let Elon default?

Pissed away the budget on hurdygurdy strings.

Artist's rendering of dinosaur Pachycephalosaurus.

Pachycephalosaurus enters the chat.

But for whom doth the tuna melt?

You would think more dudes would be able to internalize these very simple truths, but evidently not

Better get your wizard credentials in order so he has to do the job himself.

Your last saved celeb pic is your new therapist

I remind myself that everyone's body is objectively weird as fuck, and the so-called good-looking folks are no exception.

And yes, I know you're joking. I am, too. Partly.

White shoes after labor day?

I dunno, man...

Joke of a Dingus?

Find you a JD (not a lawyer, a Junior Dong.)

Have fun storming the castle