mark mcfeeters

peanuts *in* the shell

look at this mother lode I found at the bottom of a bag of shelled peanuts

remember back in the olden days when we used to laugh at chris christie’s camel toe

When I started out as a carpenter’s apprentice there was an older foreman that referred to exterior grade plywood as “plyscord”. I was always like wtf is plyscord?? Then recently I saw this in the attic of a house built in the late 50’s. Just a brand name for what came to be known as CDX.

twitter is down so that's a plus

2 1/2" electro-galvanized roofers? in this economy?

A Florida man has been arrested after months of deliberately placing roofing nails on local roads. www.newsnationnow.com/crime/florid...

Every time I have coffee, I remember how much I love coffee. I have coffee every day. Isn't memory funny? And also dependence. Okay, well, actually, dependence probably isn't that funny because it can lead to addiction.

*sips coffee*

Oh my GAHD, I love coffee.

me too katts. ❤️

ROOFER: *climbs down ladder* i’m gonna take a break

OTHER ROOFER: *climbs up ladder* okay i’ll take over

ME: *eyes wide* climb it change is real

I hate it when you are wrapping presents and you wrap the paper around the box and tape it off securely and then you realize there is way too much overhanging the ends and now you have to do the circumcision.

I didn’t need that fucking drill bit anyway

*stares mournfully, single tear on my cheek, at the now-empty slot in the drill bit case*

banana dolphin

can’t. hollowing out the bottom of Nilla wafers with my teeth.

When I tell you to get out of my way I mean it, but nobody takes my car's wind chimes seriously.

I don’t know but they are good for it

I volunteered for the 🎄 play. They handed out all the costumes for the men, and we all sort of look the same. I'm assuming I'm just a shepherd, by the looks of things I'm pretty confident that I am. But if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know.

this turned out to be an idle threat. the roommate knew the cat was finicky

Texas Man Accused of Threatening to Feed Roommate to Cat After Standoff Texas man accused of threatening to “feed his roommate to the cat” surrendered after a seven-hour standoff.

#Caturday
sanangelolive.com/news/crime/2...

does it start with "S" perhaps?😉

I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I've made up for it by being obsessive.

We put a GoPro on Grandpa to find out what he does all day. Apparently he tries to catch birds and the neighbors feed him table scraps.

She asked how my DIY project was going. I said "been better" and inadvertently fired my mouthful of nails at her.

think I might put on a pair of Dr. Dentons and see if I can get Charlie the Lonesome Cougar on demand

I’d love to like and share your Christmas posts, but am physically incapable of such action until December 10. 😘

Four wheel thrown forms prior to completion and bisque firing. The first three vessels look like a female figures with the handles as arms in different positions. The one furthest on the right is a bowl with some deep scoring.

Having some fun with wheel
thrown vases.

Real quick: if enough of us pull apart the wishbone on Thursday and make the same wish with all of our hearts, do you think it will come true?

Once again it is the holiday season, a time of year when someone might buy me a ham.

Pestering someone to literal death is called annoyhilation.