Stephen Grant

This is a lie.

There are many criticisms you might sensibly and truthfully make of the Sentencing Council and the Sentencing Guidelines. I’ve been making them for years.

But this is an outright lie. Pure fabrication. A fraud on the public.

I did a Zoom call yesterday with someone who pitched their services to me; they didn't turn on their camera, and their name under their window was just their company

This must be what it's like when drunk people talk to CCTV cameras

Cartoon showing a man reading from a dictionary to another. He says "So, it turns out confirmation bias means exactly what I expected it to mean|"

The sort of cartoon you'd expect to see from me

www.worldofmoose.com/products/con...

🔥 Fire up your Friday at Forge with 20% OFF! 🔥 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄: "𝟐𝟎𝐎𝐅𝐅" The stage is set & the lineupss about to ignite
🎙️ Paul McCaffrey
🎙️ Michael Odewale
🎙️ Alex Petrovic
🎙️ Mariah Bowden
🎙️ @stephengrant.bsky.social
Grab tickets below 👇🏼
#brighton #whatsonbrighton #visitbrighton #brightoncomedyclub

THIS FRIDAY AT FORGE
Here's the fun you're getting...

💥Nabil Abdulrashid
💥Liam Withnail
💥Zoe Brownstone
💥Harrison Thomas @harrisonthomas.bsky.social
💥Stephen Grant @stephengrant.bsky.social grant

@Ironworks BTN - the best club in #Brighton !!

#brightoncomedy #whatsonbrighton #brightonevents

THIS SATURDAY NIGHT AT FORGE
Join these fantastic funny four acts...

🔥 Laura Lexx @lauralexx.bsky.social
🔥 Ben Norris
🔥 Sam See @mrsamsee.bsky.social
🔥 Stephen Grant @stephengrant.bsky.social

#brightonandhove #brightoncomedyclub
#brightonnightsout #brightontourism

💥 𝙊𝙉 𝙎𝘼𝙇𝙀 𝙉𝙊𝙒 💥 "𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺" 𝘈𝘥𝘢𝘮 𝘙𝘰𝘸𝘦

🎙️ Podcast cult hero Jamie Hutchinson brand new hour of unfiltered comedy, mad stories and chaotic charm.

"𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘧**𝘬 𝘶𝘱𝘴 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘵" 𝘋𝘢𝘯 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘦

🔗 Tix in comments
#brighton #whatsonbrighton

BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND Loading..

Line up change for this Saturday!

But check it out - a stellar hand picked line up to add some BIG laughs to your bank holiday...

⚡ @lauralexx.bsky.social
⚡ @honourabletom.bsky.social
⚡ @josephemslie.bsky.social
⚡ @stephengrant.bsky.social

#Brighton #BankHoliday

Updated line ups for this weekend;

🔥Markus Birdman🔥 @markusbirdman.bsky.social
“I did a tour of NZ with Markus Birdman, who wiped the floor with me every night. He was fantastic.” James Acaster

🔥Malinda Makuma🔥
“Charming, unexpected and utterly compelling. Definitely one to watch" - Banana Cabaret

If you haven't made plans tonight, and you're fed up of this drizzly weather, go and cheer yourself up with @jonnyawsum.bsky.social and pals, in a nice, air conditioned, DRY, comedy club - the best that #Brighton has to offer - the Forge Comedy Club at the Ironworks Studios Brighton.

Start the Summer Holidays smiling with this stellar hand picked line up at Forge this Friday;

@stephengrant.bsky.social as MC, with @omarbadawy.bsky.social
Adam Hopkins, Graeme Collard
and the phenomenal @louconran.bsky.social 😮

Come & enjoy a 5 star night with us!!

#comedy

Don't worry - the sun will return, and with it, brings;

⭐️ Chris Turner
⭐️ @shutupandrea.bsky.social
⭐️ Barnaby Slater
⭐️ Ben Pope
⭐️ MC @stephengrant.bsky.social

Come & hang out in our nice, cool, air-conditioned comedy club, with the best comics, drinks, pizza and even boozy icecream!!

Funny That Subscribers; just confirmed!
We have a really BIG act coming to the Forge in July. Really BIG*

*Tall

Not on our mailing list?
Head to the Funny That website and get yourself on it PRONTO!

#surpriseguest

𝘞𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘥𝘢𝘺'𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘵 @boatheatre.bsky.social

@mrmarksteel.bsky.social
@larrydean.bsky.social
and @stephengrant.bsky.social
will be entertaining you all at Hove's beautiful outdoor venue, it's BYO too!

Come on down!! 🤣🤣🤣

🧜🏻‍♀️Laura Lexx - 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘈𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰, 𝘔𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘞𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘯 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘺 2024
@lauralexx.bsky.social
🧜‍♂️Joe Foster Comedian - 𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘊𝘰𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳
🧜🏻‍♂️Legend MC, Stephen Grant
@stephengrant.bsky.social

Join us for an evening of outstanding live comedy in the Ballroom!

School just told me my son's maths classes will be streamed next year and I thought why would I want to watch that online

BBC news flash for Trump telling off Putin

I use similar if not stronger language when mentoring open spot comedians about their delivery so this level of attack seems proportional for rampant warmongering

Wondering if they can rope Benedict back in as Caretaker Pope until they can appoint a new one.

Imagine being summoned to see the boss on Easter Monday. Harsh

#pope

It’s November 2028, Trump says tariffs with the rest of the world are *definitely* starting in 15 minutes, but China’s new reciprocal tariff is 8750%

🔥 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚 - 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙩! 𝙒𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝...

🎙 Jen Brister
🎙 @abigoliah.bsky.social
🎙 @stephengrant.bsky.social
🎙 Gabriel Ebulue

🔗 Grab a ticket from our website 👇

#BrightonComedy

THIS

That went so badly there’s a small part of me thinks Trump and Zelensky put this on

HOT lineup for you this Saturday!

🔥 Tiff Stevenson @tiffstevenson.bsky.social
🔥 Elliot Steel
🔥 Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social
🔥 MC Stephen Grant @stephengrant.bsky.social

🍕 Doors open at 6.30pm to order delicious fresh pizzas
🍷 Arrive before 6.45pm for a 1/2 price bottle of wine (t&c's)

To be fair to Trump, you can stop any war in 24 hours by surrendering

“Hey Kanye you might want to edit that”

Me: 3-0 down at half time, God, is there hope?
God: Yes ... there will be 4 goals in the 2nd half!
Me: Yippee!

#bhafc

There's no greater wasted energy then getting angry over something you can't do anything about

Anyone know a decent UK migration lawyer? Asking for a friend who is desperate. I've offered to pay for some consultation on their behalf, but I don't know where to start looking.