Panic! At the Other Website

I stopped reading the Bible after it started pandering to the fandom by bringing Jesus back from the dead.

atheists do not celebrate new year's day as they do not believe in years. i do not share their lack of belief, but i respect it. it takes all types of people to make the world turn

bluesky moderation warning: "Stupid"

hes talking about jar jarbinks

Few things are more humbling than randomly choking on your own spit for no discernible reason

Im inventing a new type of Prayer that will piss God off less than normal prayers do

Aaabwabwabbbabababaa

"Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"

Do you think Jim Henson ever fell in love with a muppet or did he just fuck them

[approaches lady at bar non-threateningly]
remember "peanut butter jelly time"? well that guy died. in a standoff with las vegas police. snoop doggs his uncle. he was one of the last voices he ever heard
[she gets up & moves away]
[i approach my next target]
remember "peanut butter jelly time"? well

chad and virgin are goofus and gallant for people born too late to see a taco bell menu item under $0.99

TGIF THANK GOD I’M FRASIER meme. Frasier is wearing a cardigan

*extremely breezy voice* Folks,

Aaabwabwabbbabababaa