Marcus Vargo

Lifestyle strategy: weekday monk, weekend punk

Upside-down sign that says "Enterance"

Watching YouTube interrupting an in-video commercial to play a YouTube commercial, then cutting right back to the remainder of the in-video commercial is some depressing-ass dystopian shit.

The Art of the Deal!
Step 1. Threaten
Step 2. Yell
Step 3. Pout
Step 4. Profit

Oi is thus guy calling me some kind of marsupial

Very cool dude. Smooth and clean and mellow. Dig it!

Who DOGEs the DOGEmen?

Screenshot of Spotify playing the Quebec album by Ween

Dangit if this album don't still give me goosies.

There is an unclearable notification on my phone's lock screen that says I have a voicemail. However, upon checking my voicemail I actually do not have a voicemail.

The future is stupid.

I've recently discovered that I've been unknowingly initiated into midwest culture. Not through hot dish, or snow, or lake culture, but holy nuts the passive-aggression up here is REAL.

Is this talking strand of DNA gendered by any chance?

The Law of Diminishing Returns has no power in The Land of the 24-hr News Cycle!

From a journalist friend: Just spreading the word. The CDC is purging data, so people should archive their favorite CDC datasets today, namely ones around race/ethnic diversity, LGBTQ, and reproductive health. Also health data involving climate. The youth risk behavior survey has already gone down.

Excuse me, I was told there would be "'atta boy"s but I seem to only be receiving "gotta second?"s.

I'm gonna rise up I'm gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag gonna fly on an Eagle I'm gonna kick some butt I'm gonna drive a big truck gonna rule this world Gonna kick some ass gonna rise up I'm gonna kick a little ass. ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE!

Sometimes I have a profound faith in humanity's grand arc.

All other times, I'm getting gas at Costco.

Woah what are the odds!

YouTube video by 𝕻𝖔𝖕 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖘𝖘 • ⸆⸉ • 𝔸☆𝕋𝔼𝔼ℕ𝕊 JEFFPARDY

But is Jeffpardy still on at 7:30? youtu.be/Bdx86Pet5nA?...

As a straight white male, I for one am appreciating the recent empowerment that allows me to threaten those who have only ever tried to help me with murder. Finally, my time to shine!

No dude it's, like, an additive comma. Thats why I keep it both!

Thanks, I needed this.

Screenshot of a weather app detailing -13 degree temperature

Yeah but it's a dry frozen hellscape.

Climate change

Congrats! Hope you and your fam are happy and healthy!

I'll bet you a thousand neatly stacked donuts that David Lynch had some glorious last cigarettes.

DAVID LYNCH DIDN'T DIE COOP, HE JUST RETIRED TO A CHARMING SMALL TOWN IN NOTHERN WASHINGTON STATE.

you're telling me times were mid AND evil??

According to a company email, it's "Causal Friday." Feels good to know that what I do finally matters. Especially in this tux!

Have you ever considered writing a sequel to In the Belly of the Fail Whale?

Ah dang, he lost me at "we've got to stop cursing and start praying", well it was inspirational while it lasted bud.