Little Greenis

The satanic farmers almanac is calling for ALL HAIL.

Does anyone know of any other examples of where a video synchs perfectly to other audio, like the This Is America video clip set to Call Me Maybe?

Is there also a baby on that board?

Contrary to its name, the Emperor Penguin holds no real power.

That is reserved for the Prime Minister Penguin.

Here’s something no politician will tell you: poo poo pee pee fart fart fart fart

When the Muppets took Manhattan, I said nothing

Head of lettuce sounds like a big responsibility.

there are two types of women in the world.
the ones who think I’m handsome and the ones who aren’t my mom

[class trip to the farm]

ME: *hand up*

FARMER: again, cow friends are not called moochachos.

ME: *hand down*

in the uk is it called meths

To all the elderly ladies who told me I’d be a real heartbreaker when I was 7, I have some pretty devastating news

Disproving the term “bone dry” by keeping my bones extra moist.

god I'm starving, you know what I could use right now? an infant so tender and mild

Zoinks Scoob, you’re supposed to get ALL the peanut butter.

wife: i want another kid

me: yeah, fuck brian

Fantastic 👏🏻

That’s right, no nirvana for you 😂

Oh you like nirvana? Name the four truths one must accept before ascending to a plain of peace and tranquility.

sometimes being an atheist really sucks bc i want so many people to burn in hell

A turkey is fenced in behind a sign on a post reading “LLAMA.”

Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.

Attempt at repotting a plant and root ball in a pot that is far too small.

what it was like trying to put on pants this morning

Pretty sensitive for someone acting so tough.

Jesus. Take your meds.

So respond to their post not mine.

Making my own fruity pebbles by chiseling out a fruity boulder.

PRIEST: in honour of the deceased’s final wishes, each person will sprinkle Parmesan onto the coffin instead of dirt.

jumping out of a cake and finding yourself inside an even larger cake

Goods is too modest. They should be called baked greats.

DRILL SERGEANT: *handing the breakfast menu back to the waiter* I’ll just have the pieces of shit like you.

Using my mouse cursor to pet a jpeg of a dog