Draculaura🦇🪦🎃

Them: Tits or ass?

Me: Someone who will hit me in the face with a shovel.

Its a photo of a gross pizza thats a rectangle with biscuit crust sweet tomato sauce and smoked provolone cheese "they call it maryland style" but im from maryland and its not Ledos pizza quote " The Originator of Maryland Style Pizza Turns 70" . "

What style pizza? Yeah this is revisionist history.

A cute polycule is a cuticle.

Get yer claws into that.

Stay silly. Be silly online, be silly at work, if you have a partner try to do something to make them laugh every day. Take care of yourself and your people but stay silly. Getting older doesn't mean you have to grow up

Depression? You mean spicy sadness?

watching the couple flirt in the gc...

Grown-ass people who feel the need to post a selfie every day... why?

Yup, that's your face and it looks just like it did yesterday.

they’re banning all the funny people on bluesky; don’t worry, you should be safe at least 🥹

Professional victim
Drama queen
Joke thief
Is there anything you can't do?

(complimentary)

meme of a guy in a red shirt and sunglasses reading make out? no thanks. I'm saving these lips for the sweet kiss of death

😙☠️

Tell me something that brought you joy this week.

Any old thing will do. Small joys are as good as big ones—sometimes even better.

People need to stop saying, "That's un-American" when the government does something horrible. We have a long and well-documented history of doing horrible stuff

courtroom sketch of what is apparently diddy fallen to his knees, under the defendant table, sobbing into a chair cushion

court sketch of what is apparently diddy wiping his face

court sketch of what is apparently santa diddy looking worried with his head in his hands

these court sketches from diddy’s sentencing hearing are a whole vibe

Greta Thunberg says she is being detained by Israel in cell ‘infested with bedbugs’ Activist tells Swedish officials she has been subjected to harsh treatment, including insufficient food and water

So cool and normal that Europe still has normal relations with Israel

www.theguardian.com/world/2025/o...

I hated so many fewer people a year ago.

Okay, look… it’s Saturday, you see? I’m a little high and in a good mood. So, for the love of all that is Octoberish, don’t fuck this up with reality. kthx

big balls is what i call this one neighborhood cat but im keeping why a secret

From our friend Tombkick folks, we have a starter pack. I’m a big fan of these. Follow en masse because someone has already done the hard work.

So it’s…

Like

Follow

&

Repost

And while you decide what to do here’s a random GIF👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻😂😂

Nothing like getting the zoomies in the middle of the night when you should be sleeping

knocked my salt shaker over & when i turned back to look at it, i turned into a spiller of salt . folks,,

⚠️ this user’s page is a safe space for anti-swifties

the tumble setting on a dryer can be used to make cement but only once

Always the clown, never the clown car

YouTube video by Captain & Tennille - Topic Love Will Keep Us Together

Definitely having a piano bar in our flotilla,

Captain & Tennille ~ Love Will Keep Us Together
#togoty

photo of the facade of a 1960s-built public building made of limestone with a metal artwork thing installed above the doors thats like an arched, athletic looking guy who’s leaping or flying or striving in any case, and if you look closely you can see “UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE COMMISSION” has been carved into the limestone above the doors, in beautiful serif lettering

anybody need anything from here

time is a flat circle, so is pizza therefore time is pizza

An orange cat splayed over some pants on the arm of a chair

Harry taking full advantage of his #Caturday. #CatsOfBluesky #Rescuecat

A fuzzy white kitten rests its front paws on an arm holding a pen hovering over a list.

“Tuna?”
“Yes.”
“Catnip?”
“On the list.”
“What about-“
“Relax Alvin, I got this.”

I have a big family get-together in a couple of hours, so I still have time to fake my own death