tiny elvis

kids today have no idea that former president gerald ford spent his retirement years as an actor named john ashton who played the role of detective sergeant taggart in the hit 80s action comedy movies “beverly hills cop” and “beverly hills cop II”.

if your night out drinking ends with you looking like a spirited gg allin performance, it’s time to make some changes.

all bangers (not derogatory).

were you born in 1987? you were conceived to “sledgehammer”. sorry, i don’t make the rules. i just report the news.

you’re his huckleberry; i’m his dingleberry. we are not the same.

…wait a minute

this is the correct answer.

Yeah, I’m a gamer.

a black Chevy Volt with the licence plate: BLK ADR an obvious reference to the old UK comedy show Black Adder, starring Rowan Atkinson as Edmund Blackadder in a variety of different eras

Respect for this one person who’s repping for Rowan Atkinson as Edmund Blackadder

Ida B Wells Guardians high school football stadium scoreboard (Portland) against a cloudy gray sky we see such terms as HOME, GUEST, DOWN, TO GO, BALL ON, QTR

closeup of the previous scoreboard where the message field reads: MEMORY ERROR

this scoreboard knows me

Time to STOP making mortal enemies on The Internet and START making mortal enemies at the therapy pool.

James Holzhauer G @James_Holzhauer X.com With the Series being 3-3, Game 7 is very important. Whichever team wins takes control of the Series!

thank you james very cool

why am i, a 41 year old, having sexy dreams about a footloose-era john lithgow???

“violent night”, except it’s just me raging when i go to make a sandwich at 2am and the turkey’s a little dry.

Been off work except for an aborted 2 week attempt since the beginning of June. Just found out this one airline wants to bring some work back to us after being gone for a while. Now I don't want to go back. They suck.

The Friendly Skies my ass.

Nothing like a steady 36 hour rain to make sure you gotta cut the fucking grass at least one more time.

“I’m down for whatever,” I say, falling asleep.

Fire the president by the time I wake up thanks

Hey, my sister and I were raised by a hardworking single parent who also received food stamps. Pound sand, fucking haters.

some gen z kid out there was conceived to one of dave matthews band’s horny-ass songs.

Work by Cerith Wyn Evans

Mood.

Skeet 1: a red furry puppet staring at a man’s hand. Text: "You want to put that inside Elmo?" "Yes." "And Elmo get twenty dollars?" "That's right." "Elmo want to see money first." Skeet 2: a quote from the movie Ghostbusters: Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

My TL is undefeated!

These young bands these days don't even cover Louie, Louie anymore

😏

it wasn’t until my 4th or 5th viewing of “the running man” that i realized maria conchita alonso arrived home, got out of her work clothes, and proceeded to exercise in her lingerie.

It would be really neat if the phone calls I'm actually waiting to receive didn't only come when I'm showering or using the bathroom

What’s it like inside your head?

wait- why do y’all like this nonsense?? 😩

“west end girls” is a rap song.

Wut

Necco wafers only exist to prepare children for all the Tums they'll be eating when they're older