Malina Jacobowitz

Drake is so mad right now

Being a Jets fan is like being a fan of slipping on bananas

Being a Jets fan is like being a fan of stepping on rakes

85% of my dreams are in the same fictional place - it’s a whole landscape. There’s a beach, a house where I’m often stuck in a party, a highway, an airport, etc. When I’m one place in a dream, I always know where the other places are in relation to my location. It’s weird & comforting.

No one I know who is opposed to ICE uses the phrase “anti-ICE” because it’s a stupid fucking way to say that

A true patriot

Aw man. Wait til she finds out about people

White on white violence is out of control, yall

People who love to quote the Bible seem kind of confused by the “reap what you sow” part

Things keep getting more and more what the fuckier every day

Doing the wave at a baseball game is the only thing that makes me proud to be an American anymore

But also is she wearing tap shoes???

Well I’m a fan of THIS for sure 🥰

Can Americans take advantage of this offer?

Have tried this exact thing and can confirm you have to keep trying

Why am I getting so many posts of men’s topless selfies and how do I turn off the internet

It is me, a person who is deeply aware that I have truly awful taste in candy

Where even is the fucking rubicon anymore? We’re supposed to just keep wading through more and more rivers of SHIT until when? Until everyone this admin hates is dead or deported or so overcome with despair we wish we were both? Fuck man

This is fantastic! Thanks for sharing!

This is as feckless a justification of a spineless decision as I’ve ever seen. Surely your shame has SOME bounds?

I feel like if I don’t see Titus Burgess in “Oh Mary!” I might die?

They’re not his staff. Hope this helps!

America is my Roman Empire

BREAKING: Indigenous activist Leonard Peltier released from prison after nearly 50 years

Video obtained by CNN shows the rear landing gear of the jet buckling and the right wing shearing away in a fireball after the plane landed hard on the runway.

I hope America is as lucky as the delta jet - everyone survives but the right wing explodes

Just put sugar on all the Danish Butter Cookies, man

Snoop and Tom Brady: say no to hate

Kendrick: actually

Adjusting my friend group based on how they felt about the Kendrick Lamar halftime show is extremely liberating

Oh man thank you! Tell your husband Mark I said “hi” btw

There is nothing harder than trying to remember someone’s husband’s name