Danyool

No, it's okay, I shouldn't have reacted so badly. I guess I was just triggered by it, because I got into clappergooning in my early 20s and very nearly destroyed my life. Anyway. Onwards and upwards

Fucking hell Alix, I have feelings you know

Oh shit, Sunday's a washout. Saturday it is then! Thanxx

"Clappermaxxed another quarter of Underage Plain Bob. We nearly crashed out at the end with some ragged clangfishing, but we held on for the W"

Pretty much, aye

weekend plans: wuthermaxxing my heights then slumping cortisol levels by low-key staregooning some boids

It's over, Zembles. I have the high [burps] ground

Cannelloni ready meal and roast potatoes for dinner. Fuck it.

My position on the Bluesky map: a green dot in a sea of dots, orbiting the British Progressive Left Community at a distance of about 40,00 light years

It's cold outside
There's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone
More or less

My mum was telling us about a friend hers. "Sue's got immaculate... erm..."

"Immaculate what?"

"Immaculate... you know. Of the eyes."

"Macular degeneration?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

Wicked

Making glazed mini waffles and drinking vodka tonnyx like some sort of dangerously unregulated production line

A sandpiper feeding in the shallows at the edge of a lake, looking down at the water for its next morsel

An green sandpiper

I'm in recovery after an enormous bowl of singapore noodles. Feeling better but not out of the woods yet

Just donated to a colleague's fundraiser in the hope that they'll see my name pop up and it'll remind them that they haven't responded to my email

It's a hard watch tbh

Much chortles

When Arthur is jonesing for scritches he'll sometimes stand on two legs so he can grab my hand. I've taken to calling him "Australopithecat" whenever he does this

Oh we do have a laugh here at Ripley Towers!

You guys have a lot of named days up there

Shut up Paz

And also

Good morning

My mate who's in a ukulele choir has given me one of his spare ukuleles. I'm holding it on the tube, opposite a man who's holding a terrarium he made in a terrarium workshop. London, eh? Bloody hell.

Every time I go round to see one of my mates, he texts me his address. I've gone there many times over many years. Might stop going if he doesn't pack it in.

She got out of it, thankfully. Sideways move to a department that gives you as long as you need to form words

I like my manor houses like I like my wine etc

I'm sitting at a desk normally used by a contact centre adviser, and she's got a note on her phone that says "Remember to log in and DO NOT STUTTER". Devastating. Heart's broken, lads. Kaput

There's a nasty rumour going around that I'm in the Epstein files. This is completely false, and is a misunderstanding based on my appearance as "Steam Man" in the X-Files (Season 2 Episode 4: Mulder Meets the Steam Man)

Alright Trevor and Simon

Ate my dinner while standing in the kitchen again

He took a few days off but he's back now. Maybe he just got fed up of you always spelling Keir Starmer as Kier Starmer