Rogue Elephant

HE HARVARD RESEARCHERS didn't ' hite he ke cam finding themed wrong. But the same paper had given them another result that they liked much better. The team was going all in on yogurt. With a growing reputation as a boon for microbiomes, yogurt was the anti-ice-cream-the healthy person's dairy treat. "Higher intake of yogurt is associated with a reduced risk" of type 2 diabetes, "whereas other dairy foods and consumption of total dairy are not," the 2014 paper said. "The conclusions weren't exactly accurately written," acknowledged Dariush Mozaffarian, the dean of policy at Tufts's nutrition school and a co-author of the paper, when he revisited the data with me in an interview. "Saying no foods were associated-_ice cream was associated."

It’s so funny how every study shows that ice cream is good for you but this makes scientists mad so they don’t talk about it

web.archive.org/web/20240122...

Letterboxd screenshot Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) Watched by Branson Reese 28 Apr 2022 Abrams isn't a man so much as he's an avatar of cultural entropy. If you make something popular enough eventually you will die or sell it off and and a person in thick rimmed glasses whose main artistic vision is that he loves to have meetings will take it and sandblast it until it's nothing. I hate to see this happen here but maybe it's good that this happened. Maybe every franchise should collapse into a version of itself that makes shareholders nod and shake each others' hands. We should learn to speak in a language that rich people who don't dream can't comprehend.

i often think about this review

voice on tape: HELLO DIPSHIT
you: oh no. i got captured by Mean Jigsaw
voice: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME. OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY BEING POOR
you: Mean Jigsaw stop

So i never have… but i’ve always thought, like, a regular who i know? I’m actual friends with? I should just do it. A stranger? Never. BUT. If a fry falls off the plate in the pass between the kitchen and the dining room, that shit is mine

Man i’m a bartender and i’ve been trying to resolve this question to my own satisfaction for like 10 years

When my kids was about five, we were at a restaurant, and some people got up to leave. He asked why we couldn't eat the fries they left behind, and that was the toughest thing I've had to explain as a parent.

Pilot: welcome aboard

Fighter pilot: [right hook]

Elmo @elmo · 1h That Bunny was AMAZING. Elmo thinks he should be called Good Bunny! Elmo loves you, Mr. Good Bunny! ❤️🎶🐰 Based Yankee @thebasedyankee You and Bad Bunny should be deported

It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

Second straight Super Bowl in which a dude named Drake has been mercilessly bullied

Benito is a threat b/c he makes art so alluring and enjoyable you want to understand everything about it and then you end up learning about sugar and slavery and colonialism and the Taínos and Hawaii and then you probably have some thoughts of your own, and that's why art is powerful and dangerous

heads up to the american news media: I do not care what racists thought of the super bowl halftime show

Anyone complaining about this halftime show is just mad that they’re Protestant. I will not be taking further questions

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,

we call the tribe from the next valley over the milk drinkers. lol yeah milk, like big disgusting pails of it, from cows. can you believe it? we always have a good laugh right before their 7 foot tall sons raid and plunder our crops

GenAI users are just another in the long line of people who want an easy path to creative success, so they target art, because they think the work of creation is unimportant in regards to the product

It’s the “I could do that” guy in the modern art museum

It’s why they choose the genres they do

You can take your used coffee grounds and mix them with 1/2 cup of white vinegar, it’s cheap & easy and it creates a huge mess that smells terrible

Everyone hates this stupid piece of shit. All my homies hate this stupid piece of shit

the magic of the Muppets is that there are two fourth walls. they constantly break the one that reminds the audience they are performers. they NEVER break the one that reminds the audience they are puppets. this dynamic is the key to their entire comedy style

me, showing grandpa how to text: think you’ll be able to keep up ?

grandpa, who never returned that dvd to blockbuster: what

me: THINK YOU’LL BE ABLE TO KEEP UP ?

grandpa: jesus christ, i heard you the first time. fine, i’ll return it

me: what

What I love about that six word Hemingway story, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn" is that in those few words we instantly grasp the sadness of what it is trying to tell us: the baby was so freakishly massive when it was born that it could never wear the shoes its parents had bought for it.

Opinion page of the Onion Jan-Feb 2026 issue with a piece titled "Anyone Else Have Those Weird Dreams Where Sobbing Future Generations Beg You To Change Course?" by Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI

@theonion.com is so worth the subscription for this

Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.

when i was a 16yo girl i thought i was an adult. coaching 12-17yo girls as a 28yo really hammered home how much i was wrong about being an adult at 16 and how obvious it is to actual adults that a 16yo is not an adult. if they say they cannot tell they are lying because they are a creep.

jeffrey epstein being the first domino for the financial crash, video game micro transactions, and Gamergate is making me lose my mind

one thing i always look for in a currency is the capacity to lose 15% of its value in response to nothing in particular

1932: A young couple goes hungry for weeks to afford a solid oak credenza. Something to pass down to their children, and their children’s children. A hope for the future.
2025: A young man named “Bunghole” vomits a Zyn pouch into the credenza’s top drawer before tossing it out a second-story window

it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars