Tropical Rock

I was told that if I saved my money it would be worth something someday

another victim of the american dream

do you think that dog from anatomy of a fall knows he’s famous?

just found about about 50 shades of grey and I’m disgusted

dudes a billionaire and he won’t even pay for her to get an independent legal advice session?

do you count the groceries of the person in front of you in the express lane or are you normal

truly wild to live in a time where I want to join other canadians in making fun of america but it feels like punching down

trump? sure
americans? haven’t they been through enough?

me: on one hand I want to support small businesses and young entrepreneurs but on the other, how can I be sure that a brand new venture has the appropriate guidelines and policies in place to ensure they’re selling a safe product?

Child at lemonade stand: do you want a cup or not

rip oscar wilde you would have loved bryan johnson’s age obsessed antics

tried to withhold judgement for suits LA and the description states it follows a firm that specializes in criminal and entertainment law

going to start putting my decline of the US guesses in writing

i think we are 3 months away from an executive order criminalizing heresy

what happened to roombas?

because my theory is they never actually worked and people couldn’t admit that they lived on unswept floors for years so they just quietly put them away and never mentioned them again

havent seen sweeny todd, im assuming its a horror story about what would happen if your barber spontaneously broke into song and dance while you were halfway through a haircut?

I know implanting a chip in my body with my ID will definitely have very dystopian ramifications but also I would love not to have to check if I packed my passport 30 times

so just to be clear americans insisted on keeping their firearms in the event that they one day had to rise against a tyrannical government and now crickets?

when I am asked if I want to know my weight at the doctors office

born to be a personality hire, forced to work in a field with quantifiable metrics

becoming a dog owner is a gift to others because they never have to wonder what to get you again

toys for my dog. the answer is always toys for my dog

finally tried noise cancelling AirPods and now every time I take them out I feel like Morty in that episode where he’s experienced true level

Small dog in a raincoat with his ears tucked in looking very cute

having a reactive dog is crazy because I have to warn people to be cautious or he may fear bite and then this is the dog

why use drugs when you can simply leave the room for 2.8 minutes and come back to your dog acting like he hasn’t seen you in weeks

why are beer and wine the only drinks that have thousands of variations? why can’t I have a flight of lemonade

seems incredibly difficult to kill even one bird with a stone

courtroom airbud movie where someone says “dogs can’t give legal advice!” and the law society compliance panel says “he’s technically allowed because it’s just legal information”

I refuse to read one more “X is being investigated! This is HUGE because…” until the person is actually behind bars

I don’t believe people when they say they have strong wine preferences

every glass of wine I’ve ever had has caused me to immediately forget the last glass and create a new understanding of what wine tastes like

british columbians voting for conservatives in the middle of a climate change event is such a great reminder that we as a species are absolutely cooked

LinkedIn notifications are like: (GUY YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT IN 7 YEARS) left a comment on (GUY YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF)’s post

American college football is amazing

how on earth do they remember all those plays while that frequently concussed

I love opting for an Uber when I’m super tired to stay safe only to have that Uber driver put me in far more danger than I would have put myself

The underrated part of reading books on a kindle or other digital format is that you can turn off the progress tracker, so you’re just reading without any sense of when it’s time for the climax or when the book will end.

It’s like listening to me tell stories

why does blue gatorade heal you, while any blue alcoholic drink makes you the sickest you’ve ever been