Tiernan Douieb

This is superb.

Yes! Perfect! Although they prob think William Hague is left wing now. Maybe Michael Gove’s raps?

That’s very smart. I can’t imagine what everyone would dance to at the Tory conference. The National Anthem? The sound of people despairing?

Unless everyone applauded thinking they’d just witnessed a new Beckett play or something and thought Kemi delivered the role with the seriousness the stupidity needed?

‘Our show got a standing ovation every night.’ Well done. You’re as good as a terrible, nonsensical speech by Kemi Badenoch.

Text: Badenoch finishes speech to standing ovation Wrapping up her speech, Badenoch says she wants to see a "better Britain" where people have a "brighter future".

There you go. Proof that people give standing ovations for any old shit now, they’re just excited to get out of their uncomfortable seats.

Wherever Robert Jenrick goes next, absolutely everyone should turn up wearing masks like Michael Myers from Halloween.

You know who doesn't integrate? People like Robert Jenrick. You think he works out at the local leisure centre? Goes to the Tuesday night pub quiz? You think his golf club lets anyone play? Or his private members' clubs let anyone in? He puts the ick in prick

Clockwise from top L corner: John Cooper, goldfish, Radio Nonsense logo, air-rate, maybe.

Radio Nonsense logo. Text: Why are goldfish called goldfish if they ate orange? With John Cooper

John Cooper takes a break from teaching his passive martial art, Air-ate, to help Tiernan answer a question about goldfish. Also: Chutney.  WE NEED YOUR QUESTIONS, JOKES AND NONSENSE TOO. SEND THEM IN TO: podcast@comedyclub4kids.co.uk GROWN UPS: IF YOU CAN BUY US A COFFEE PLEASE DO SO HERE: https://ko-fi.com/comedyclub4kids Website: www.comedyclub4kids.co.uk Bluesky: comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Facebook: facebook.com/ComedyClub4Kids Hosted by Tiernan Douieb. Music by Paddy Gervers. Design by John Beck.

On this week’s @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast, the creator or Air-rate John Cooper joins me to talk goldfish.

Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3394e9

Available all places podcasts live. #podcast #podcasts #podcasting #comedy #improv #kidsaudio #kidspodcast

Ah thanks, I appreciate that. I’ve not seen the new NB episodes yet but that’s a shame if it’s the case. I know the maths they’re looking at is getting more complex which can’t be easy to write stories about!

Keir Starmer’s spokesman asked about Israel detaining British citizens who were on the Gaza aid flotilla, while in international waters, replies that it is a “matter for the Israeli Government”

wizard frog is insane

Thing I don’t get is if you want someone not real who’ll agree with you all the time and push you towards stupid ideas, rather than AI, why not just become part of the British political class?

And there is *always* a tweet isn’t there

Ooh crab protests!

Yes, starting points just three feet down the round from the last one each time. Perfect

Look, the Groucho Club have apologised and got their licence back so just give it up guys.

Are sequels repeats? I reckon you can do a demo a day with slightly different names or a numbering system while insisting 'ah but this time its lead by someone called Clive and last time it was lead by Susan' to prove its very different.

If the Home Secretary wants to stop repeat protests, I think the key is to change the title of the protest but one word or letter each time. It's a not a repeat if it's, say, 'National Demonstration for Palestine' followed by 'Big Demo for Palestine' followed by 'Palestine: A Demonstration'.

WOAH. Ok, maybe she has a point.

I don't understand why having the dates on a string would help. Can't they be in a bowl like everyone else has them? Is it some sort of arcane ritual?

Afraid not! I’ve not written for numberblocks (though hopefully one day I will!)

Hooray! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 I’ll definitely take that.

I hope the Home Secretary aims to fill in every single ‘gap in the law’ until everything on Earth is illegal including herself and then she has to send herself to prison.

Japan has a wrestling camp for kids where at the end they have a show match in front of their parents to show off what they learned.

Thought you'd enjoy this.

Apple Review #8: Reine Des Reinettes, Plus A Moment On The Subject Of Sadness Sometimes I think, why apples? Why do I care? Why is this interesting to me? And it’s easy to lean on the… trivia, the history, all the fiddly bits about where the apple comes from, how…

Today's review at the blog (remember those?) is of this fancy French fuckboy of an apple:

Please join me in congratulating Woman on her appointment

Image: A very boring picture of a ferry. Text: A Ferry Lazy Post. Some old writings

A lazy blog post this week, again. open.substack.com/pub/tiernand...