john freiler

worst langoliers sequel ever

latest trivago ad is just soundless black and white film of the european men with too-big veneers carrying out the black dahlia murder. unclear how these guys were the same age in 1947, or how this is supposed to sell hotel rooms

christmas is for tourists. i am visited every night by ghosts who tell me what an asshole i am

as long as they keep dressing him up like david cross in the titannica sketch for every ad, i am fine with this plan

commercial with kevin hart as the elf on the shelf is an eldritch horror. a collection of images unfit to be seen by living eyes. a diseased media hallucination from an unsound mind. i am infuriated that i'm only just seeing it on december 24

if all these psycho right-wing government officials can do press conferences while obviously fucked up on coke, i should be allowed to have my school bus driving job back

david ellison is not going to be happy about this one

i shudder to think at how long sc johnson tried to keep this story from coming out

saw a really interesting investigation on 60 minutes last night, during their "the best of andy rooney" clip show. i had no idea ziploc bags have become that difficult to open and close

[ebenezer scrooge, after a ghost shows him a vision of my pathetic life on christmas eve]: hm. well.....it's sad, that's for sure. i mean, i see what you're going for here but....he's just not that sympathetic? i still feel pretty good about the layoffs

that one blonde dipshit cop is so so so great in pale rider

los angeles film critics association announces its choice for the best movie of 2025, and for the 36th year in a row, it's abel ferrara's king of new york. the announcement clarifies, "every movie since then has been kind of a letdown"

we need to get everyone in america their own syndicated comic strip immediately

just want to do mushrooms and see new avatar movies in peace but every time one of these things comes out cameron does a press tour where he's like, "yeah i'm a billionaire now. i'm going to lead the industry in AI filmmaking. also kathryn bigelow didn't write point break"

and if you gaze too long into an abyss, the abyss turns you into aaron rupar

did u guys hear they are making a biopic of the new radicals. andrew garfield is going to play the annoying guy in the bucket hat. andy serkis is playing the bucket hat

doordash holiday ads concept is "if you're a total moron and forgot to thaw the turkey and buy your dumb kids presents, you can easily doordash a fully unfrozen turkey and a bicycle on christmas morning." sure ok!

one cool thing about having a pipe burst under your house is it gives you the opportunity to check out the latest in insurance company telephone hold music. haha just kidding, i thought it'd feel better to write that instead of "i give up, this is my watery tomb now"

most filmmakers shouldn’t worry about being replaced with AI, but i am terrified bc i’ve been in post for 6 years on a movie about a guy who is so fat he collapses a bridge

[misunderstanding everyone's cryptic posts about "when it happens"]: yes that's right.......i will also cheer when jay mohr's sitcom 'action' finally arrives on a streaming platform

well, that’s the last straw for me. deactivating my truth social account now

when she got in trouble she should have just said they were deadwood riffing

one of the great pleasures of the every-couple-years deadwood rewatch is getting to hear powers boothe tell kristen bell she has the eyes of a weasel and then make fun of her for having a fractured skull. 👍👍

if someone is going to produce an awful remake of silent night deadly night every 10 years, they should at least set one of them in space. people used to know how to make lousy slasher movies

jimmy says, “i would have those losers crying in ten minutes.”

my brother is an ironworker so i asked him his thoughts on the time magazine cover

A still from Stanley Kubrick's Return of the Jedi

Both David Lynch and David Cronenberg were in the running to direct Return of the Jedi, but Stanley Kubrick actually had the job for about a day until George Lucas fired him.

it's nice that pandora's ads proudly specify that their diamonds are lab-grown, but i don't love that the slogan is "if she was with you for money, she would have left already"

just saw someone on here pretend to be unfamiliar with the phrase “hawk tuah.” having fun imagining a person who has too much dignity to know that phrase, but who also posts regularly on the “hourly updates on rfk jr’s ass-eating conquests” app

oh yeah i am for sure going to watch a three minute video where the sci-fi novelist who used to pretend to be asian does cultural analysis on a cartoon about waiting in line for coffee. i would not rather climb into a dishwasher and have it run on a heavy wash setting, than watch that