Bob Scott

This is what I feared

I find it equally distressing that you did not say, “That is as close to a crime scene as I have been in months”

a masterclass on posting

People wonder sometimes why they used to call me Ragin’ Robert Scott back when I was in the Army — it was because Robert is the formal name for Bob

#𝓐𝓼𝓴𝓑𝓸𝓫𝓢𝓬𝓸𝓽𝓽
Sorry, I cannot remember if my Ethel Merman Fan Fiction stories were ever Published on my old Website like my “Fantasy Island” and “Waltons” stories were — I am unfortunately right now without an I.T. Director to help me ever since Randal vanished while on a Cambodian Sex Vacation

Does anybody know if there is demand on here for Ethel Merman Fan Fiction

When I invited my friend Lem to move in along with my old Boss at the Jollibee, my former Religious Cult Leader, and his Concubine so that all 4 of them could get back on their feet, I guess I never thought about how much Peanut Butter I would have to buy to keep them fed

Yes I worked at the Columbia House Record Club as an Intern one summer, it was a Bloodbath

I went used book shopping and then had vegan Mexican food. I could’ve scored an anti-MAGA grand slam if I’d then successfully launched a rocket into space.

BOB F. SCOTT SQUARE DANCE TIP: If you happen to black out at the 1st Friday Square Dance, one way to know you enjoyed yourself is if you wake up the next morning in a burnt-out station wagon wearing a studded dog collar with a Big hickey on your 3rd nipple

Yes, today I went to get a Physical Exam at Walmart because I am getting ready to be part of a Big Medical Study of my history of Major Heart Attacks — please ‘Like’ and ‘Re-Post’ my Thread below!!!

This is a picture of the Walmart Computer Doctor’s Test Results screen. It has analyzed me for ‘Sleep Health,’ ‘BMI’ (whatever the hell that is), ‘Blood Pressure,’ and ‘Central Vision’ and here are the ratings I have received in that same order: POOR, POOR, POOR, and POOR. My blood pressure is shown as 168/105

Also it would be nice if the Walmart Computer Doctor’s bench had better lower back support since it makes you sit there for 2-3 full minutes, but at least you get your Test Results quickly if somebody does not call in a Bomb Threat to Walmart like the last time I was there

This is a picture of the Walmart Computer Doctor, a booth that you can sit in at your local Walmart store that can examine your physical health by taking your blood pressure, checking your vision, and also doing some other stuff to you

My 2 biggest gripes when I go to get my free Physical Examination at the Walmart Computer Doctor is that sometimes I have to chase small children away (they do not apparently understand that it is a Healthcare Professional) and also when I take my shirt off there is no place to hang it up???

Gonna go hang at the mall to check out some visible panty line.

Storm chasers were asking for tornado footage from ppl who live in Dallas today. A woman responded with videos of three kangaroos in her yard, and said "All kangaroos are fine!" I will be using that as an answer for how I'm doing from now on

Thank you, I do appreciate knowing that you have not lost interest and/or passed away

Thank you, Friend — I hope this story of my near-death inspired you to not ever almost die in an Arts & Crafts Store

Yes I agree, the Bathroom at Michael’s Arts & Crafts Store has much more room for me to take my shirt off

Some people are incapable of admitting that they fucked up. I don’t trust them. Also, I don’t trust mayonnaise.

My new Thread is up on here today, People!!! I am sorry if this is what is called a ‘Spoiler Alert,’ but at the end of the story I am still alive

I really do like JoAnn’s Fabric Store for their Unparalleled selection of Arts and Crafting supplies but I do not care much for their Customers — those people are Cutthroat Bloodthirsty Turd Butlers, sorry

🧵/18 [END]
Even though I never got an additional 30% off Clearance Items at JoAnn’s Fabric Store, I am Thankful my life was spared that day, because it was during my Recovery that I met my 2nd Wife — that Sweet Lady was my Universe, but she is gone now, only dust … but that … that is another story

🧵/17
As they wheeled me away on a stretcher, I screamed furiously about my stolen ’30% off’ coupon that had no exclusions, but that only started a complete Frenzy — everybody else in there mobbed the JoAnn Fabric Store Check-Out counters with their coupons and luxurious Clearance fabrics and tulles

🧵/16
I fell to the floor, gasping!! I really felt The Light of Angels was shining down upon me, because that little old frail lady was still there — I thought she would give me C.P.R., but she just pried my fingers apart and took my soggy pee-soaked JoAnn Fabric Store ’30% off’ coupon instead

🧵/15
The Pro Doctors who later saved my life had more Technical Terms for it, but basically the bright colors and busy patterns all around me in that JoAnn’s Fabric Store acted like kindling, and then that soggy pee-soaked ’30% off’ coupon was the SPARK that IGNITED the campfire of my Heart Attack

🧵/14
The thought of a JoAnn Fabric Store ’30% off’ coupon that had absolutely NO limitations on how it could be used sent a SHOCKWAVE down my spine!! My heart fluttered, then I felt it Very slowly expand, BIGGER AND BIGGER — suddenly it was like a BURSTING BOMB went off right inside my chest!!!

🧵/13
That is when I felt a frail grip on my arm — it was a little old lady who had noticed the soggy pee-soaked JoAnn Fabric Store ’30% off’ coupon in my hand!! She said to me, “That coupon is Very valuable — they forgot to put on there that Clearance items are not eligible for the discount”

🧵/12
When you undertake an Ambitious hobby project such as making a complete set of Realistic nude marionette re-creations of 1970s Penthouse Pets, you must commit wholly to capturing every lifelike detail, so I staggered drunkenly into JoAnn’s Fabric Store and went straight to the Craft Fur section