Uncle Big Bad

Maybe another world war will finally settle the question of whether human beings have value.

You can still pay that, but I once got an ounce of 20% shake free because it was a slow day.

It varies widely, but you can get powerful mid for <100/oz. High end goes much higher but you’re paying mostly for vibes & hype.

Weed is so cheap in MI now I half expect to see an ounce under my windshield wiper blade whenever I park in a public lot.

peeling the panties off of my piece of candy

You give me a corner piece of cake and then wonder where my clothes went?

Fascinating how humans evolved in symbiosis with other species, like the toaster oven.

The most common type of uncanny valley is the college campus.

Just hanging out at the back of the used bookstore reading aloud from a Partridge Family novelization in the style of William S. Burroughs.

Thinking of buying a garbage can. but not one of those overflowing garbage cans with the flies and wasps buzzing around in the summer heat..a real nice one, in the shade somewhere, with not too much garbage

“Let me be clear” Oh boy here comes some bullshit.

No one sought any input from me in either case. Bullshit.

2 of the women I mentored last summer applied for trades positions and dudes got them both. It wasn’t seniority, and they were both excellent candidates. I’m pissed.

I need to cut back on personal hygiene it only encourages people.

The hottest job in America right now is making up numbers with your mouth.

I’m feeling like John the Baptist lately (my boss’s wife wants me beheaded).

*holding a press conference* i did not cahoot with that man

So geese are Mexican drug lords now.

I do hope it’s aliens though.

Maybe Kash’s girlfriend is hosting a girls’ night in El Paso.

Public pressure to make electric vehicles drove auto executives insane so now we get cars that look like the devil’s nutsack.

You are speaking to me as if I am a horse you own instead of a horse you are lucky to have stumbled across in a meadow.

sometimes, if you’re up early enough, you can hear them turn the birds on

I think a lot of the criticisms bluesky receives are better laid at the feet of social media as a structure rather than bluesky in specific, but I will agree with the assertion Aaron Rodericks is a fucking dunce who is clearly extremely bad at his job.

a poorly drawn square cat

an orange and white cat tightly curled inside a small cardboard box, filling it perfectly into a square shape!

square

*talking into a banana* no you hang up first

Yeah, had a spike of adrenaline but it passed.

I want an open casket funeral but with like only a middle door displaying my butt

All chocolate is Dubai chocolate to me cause I do buy it

Got an alert for an active violence incident at work this morning. RUN, HIDE, FIGHT!!! Ten minutes later got an apology email saying it was a mistake. Fuck this shit.