🎃Nosferascoob🎃

Jokes on you I don't go to therapy

Ernest Vindicated and Returns to a Life of Excess

Ernest’s Difficult Thanksgiving Reunion with his Estranged Adult Son

Goddamn right he did
bsky.app/profile/scoo...

Ernest Goes Directly to the Bargaining Stage

Ernest Scared of the Consequences of His Lifestyle

This whole thing reeks of gender

Girl Howard wrote the most sexually confusing vampire series of all time

Are you there, God? It's me, Howard

God this is bleak

get carrion to 500 or i will end your bloodline

My strategy of wearing people down rarely fails!

God Hamburger Helps those that Hamburger Help themselves

If Dr Pepper zero has no fans, I am dead

It is exquisite

Me and the fellas are gonna throw some tea in the harbor later if you wanna come through

It's sucralose but yes yes exactly!

a bald eagle is standing next to the statue of liberty in front of an american flag ALT: a bald eagle is standing next to the statue of liberty in front of an american flag

That's fuckin right 😤

I always think American exceptionalism is horseshit....then I take a sip of cool, refreshing Dr Pepper zero and I get it

Give me one with chili

Hell yeah

In this house, we kneel for the sink piss and stand for the porch piss

Only time I stand up is when I'm pissing off the porch

A vital component!

Stay silly. Be silly online, be silly at work, if you have a partner try to do something to make them laugh every day. Take care of yourself and your people but stay silly. Getting older doesn't mean you have to grow up

everyone who jacks off to ai porn should be rounded up and used to create a new kind of Australia on an island on the exact opposite side of the planet.

Me: "heres my idea: its a horror game with cheese"

E3 security: "ma'am, let go of the microphone"

Me: *dragged off the stage* "IT'S CALLED PROVOLONE IN THE DARK AND-"

Work shockingly isn't a horrible mess after my little vacation so not too bad

Good morning!

It's really the only thing that makes sense