Minor league b3tan bloke

No knitting needles or paracetamol? Happy ending.

Tenpole Stuart

#SoftenABand

Top Dollar also said ‘GREED….is for amateurs’.

The Termites
#SoftenABand

Half Man Half Crumpet
#SoftenABand

GraphiteHead

#SoftenABand

Rust Panther

#SoftenABand

King Talc

#SoftenABand

Big Is Nice, Susan.

Was this weather prediction based on observing the flight of the swallows or in the entrails of a goose?

I don’t hear it everyday myself but I’ve definitely known it from people you might meet IRL.

See also Pants.

“Charles Dance with aunts in his parnts”. Never happened.

Your mum. (Standard).

Dance- “Darnce”
Bath- “Barth”
Plastic - “Plarstic”
Antie- “Auntie”

Ok

Ants - “Ants”.

No-one, no matter how Eton and Harrow says ‘Arnts’ when they mean 6-legged Formicans, do they?

Well, why not?

You’re keeping your powder dry. And your tissues.

Russian Finance minister’s wife’s butler coughs politely, then announces “Tice to see you, to see you, Tice.”

*Uncharacteristic serious post* I passed through Lidl on the weekend because it was there and I was closeby. I don’t think there was a single product in their that didn’t have PROTEIN writ large upon it, and I include the toiletries and cleaning section in that. Anyone else corrobborate that for me?

Live action remake, Princess Monoknocker.

Hey, brothels have building regs too.

Any particular reason why Daisy Duck has stripper heels on? They’re 6-inch at least.

*opposite*, thank you very much Autocorrect

Remember, stay off kids, drugs.

People are very proud of being awarded the job title ‘Chief Operating Officer’ but someone of my age seeing ‘Charles Charleston, COO’ just makes me read ‘Charles Charleston, COO-ER-LUMME!’ In my head.

I will say, there is a tremendous sting in the tail with ‘Anal Sluts’ because you assume anyone with an Anal personality would be the complete opinion of a domestic sloven, and yet… however in the sequels that twist is absent and proves just how hard it is to get the genie back into the butthole.

‘Yeah but what if instead of 14th century Venice we restaged it in 1970s Exeter St David’s train station’? Etc.

I find after a while it’s just recycling old ideas, obviously just a product of too many ‘What made the audience laugh last time?’ brainstorming sessions.

I was given these jolly frog socks by a dear friend. The only thing is I have to dress in the dark and I accidentally put one on inside out. Now it looks like Before/after the jolly frog was caught on the grass when the lawnmower went over it.

For reference, I was a youngest and think those traits run true for all to see. Possibly spoiled, but equally slightly neglected so a bit of a show off for attention.

There’s a dickhead here who I heard in passing mention that he his brother, so he’s NOT an only child which makes how his personality developed into what it is today even more mysterious.