geeves speezerton

smart thinking (i am not that smart)

this is why my rule of thumb is to allow for 8-12 hours prep time on every new recipe my wife convinces me to try

them: “you should use our ai product it’s great”

me: does it make my job easier and more efficient?

them: “trust us you should use our ai product it’s great”

me: does it make my job easier and more efficient?

them: “try using our ai product it’s great”

me: does it make my job eas-

don’t worry he’ll arrive precisely when he means to

just another dry tuesday night i guess

i showed this to my wife and she said she would “probably” love me more if i came home wearing one

totally unfair
they can’t even handle one

after watching dr. horrible’s sing-along blog: “the machine is my mind and body working together for success. the hammer is my p-“

it’s the american way

her: “wait really even during-“

me: “the wafflecoat stays on”

you misspelled the word “thirty” jerry

somehow it feels correct that this appeared in my timeline at 6:30 am on a wednesday morning

“nice cockpit you got there be a shame if someone dumped some hot lightning into it from half a click away”

redefining what it means to “jack it”

if she has an impressive payload and a familiar speed profile, that’s not your girl that’s a timberwolf mk.ii

in all fairness nobody listened to my #sotu speech* last night either

*why cheese slices should be in packs of twelve instead of ten

honestly a valid question

if nobody else wants to laugh at you why not laugh at yourself

i have been up since 4am does this make me a criminal or a victim jerry

screenshot of a news article headline about floyd mayweather and manny pacquiao having a rematch fight in september

these reboots are getting out of cont

so you’re an expert on bluesky then

rip in peace

my wife has two
sorry, i meant the dog has two

soon: game they

i wanted to get amped about this joke but

as opposed to jd which is “just duck”

the one on the right (big mw2 vibes)

i hear stephen colbert is looking for new opportunities this summer

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when i was in sixth grade a teacher thought it would be a great idea to show a room full of 11 and 12-year olds “arachnophobia” because it was almost halloween and we were “old enough”