She doesn’t sound all that stupid to me!

Poetry. Sheer poetry.

One day, you are going to post a quote I can’t quite place, and I’m going to like it anyway so you think I’m cool.

I love it when the tree, both lamps, and the overhead light are all on. Bonus points when I can see light also coming from the kitchen and dining room.

Our public school district makes their call depending on the weather. They only call snow days for truly snowy, fun days. If it’s icy or just too cold, they assign the kids digital/alternative learning. It’s brilliant and should be far more common.

And the worst part of the whole thing is that you spent the entirety of their little lives worrying about screen time, only to realize when you REALLY NEED IT that kids are not interested in watching television at length anyway. What was all the guilt for?!?!

Elliott was on our boy name list! Along with Colin & Simon. We had two girls, but our final choice was Ian.

That is also my opinion! My actions often run counter to my opinions, however.

It’s me! Hi! I’m the follow, it’s me!

Who doesn’t have a nickname yet? Brian can get you one of those too!

You’re a Pennsylvania 17!!

Yep. I hope one day to meet Alicia G, who has my old number, I can only hope she shares my loving sentiment.

My go-to is “cash money”.

Oh that would be my time to shine!

I’d be happy to help! Send it over!

Co-signed by the mom who learned the hard way not to give finger paints to a 2-year-old while you try to bake something complicated.

I love her lyrics but there are so very many grammatical errors that could be fixed without messing up the cadence. I just do not understand.

Wait are you calling me bossy?

In my defense it was presented as reality on the history channel before lying to your audience was commonplace, and I am very open minded. BUT I admit I should have known better.

We had a Bernadette I was particularly fond of. She was black and white, like a newspaper, so I named her after Carl Bernstein.

My daughter prefers a straight middle cut and I …… don’t understand. I waited 30 years to have children for whom I could diagonal-cut the sandwich. Break the cycle!!

First boyfriend (we are 14). At Pizza Hut with his family. He orders a Pepsi with no ice. I order a Pepsi with no ice and say, “I also like warm soda!” We have so much in common. Nope. He says, “I don’t like warm soda, I just want more soda.” Womp womp

No, thank you, I took Norovirus last week and cannot commit to anything else right now.

Wait a minute - how many birds has your 4yo caught??

Why does the summer reading list include “cannibalism in cars” and “rip van winkle” when modern classics like this exist!?!?

My brother cried once in a store,so my mom put everything back and walked out. It worked! He really always asked politely & accepted the answer thereafter. So I used this magic trick on my own children - smugly I assure you - to absolutely no avail.

I did not ask for blazer recommendations either but I’m glad you sent this one! Add to cart!

I once had my daughters at chipotle and an older woman stopped on her way out to compliment my parenting, which was a lovely way to say my kids were acting like absolute hooligans.

Their extra salt pretzels are amazing, but you can only have one at a time.

I always love hearing what your 4-year-old deems secret-worthy!