Maddy

I actually don't think you should get to be a senator if you can't do the job!

Ooh poor baby being manipulated into doing his job :(((((

Our cats have opposite ears

Not about the lactose thing though. There was solid discussion of whether throwing up is the opposite of shitting

On second thought perhaps I misheard.

Don't ask what this means, I'm just reporting what I hear.

Overheard on septa

"I am a learned man"
"No you're not. You're just lactose intolerant."

This has the vibes of a puppy meet up. Look at them!!! They're so happy to be outside!!

He has been escorted away, maybe they're showing him the footage of nobody stealing from him

The attendant is a woman and the two guys who reviewed the footage are black so you can imagine how well the old white guy is taking this

(he thinks the gas station attendant stole his money)

How can I leave when they have video of him not losing $9 but him disagreeing on principle

Stuck in the Costco food court because a 70 year old man in a blazer is beefing with employees about his lost $9 and they just called the manager over

Expected shaboozey's dreads to flap their wings and fly away

Too much body horror this year. Keep your bits to yourself please

Weightloss is psyop by big greek yogurt to sell more greek yogurt

Sure thought this was gonna be a ratatouille bit

It's naked *and* afraid 🏳️‍🌈

Had a dream that my bf doesn't like me anymore so his day has been pretty annoying so far

Just ate a grilled cheese sandwich so good that I dethroned god

Weightloss is psyop by big greek yogurt to sell more greek yogurt

I think it'd be okay for the chiefs to keep their name if they changed it from chiefs (native american) to chiefs (executive officers)

And then their mascot has to be a guy in a suit with a skinny lil tie