Chris Parker

In light of recent revelations I feel obliged to clarify certain aspects of my recent memoir "Heal Me, Hedgerows". While the book is largely factual on a purely emotional level, many of the activities described did not take place in a Derbyshire commune, but while playing Stardew Valley. No refunds

GET YOUR WAR ON comic strip by David Rees. First strip, from 10/09/01

GET YOUR WAR ON by the great David Rees, nearly 24 (!) years ago. www.mnftiu.cc/category/gyw...

Came for the tribute band quiz. Stayed for possibly the best Peter Cetera joke that's ever been made. Incredible.

Bill Burr is a national treasure 🎯!

"You journalists need to get your balls back"

The front cover of a scientific journal titled Ornithologist, dated 1 April 2025. The main headline reads: “BIRDS: DECODED - Groundbreaking New Science.” Below that, a subheading says: “What are the UK’s birds really saying? Pioneering new research provides the answers.”

WORLD-FIRST: Ground-breaking research published today in the Ornithologist Journal has, for the first time, translated common UK bird vocalisations into equivalent phrases in the human language.

The results tell us a lot!

Extracts below... 🧵

Like your lit bleak, tense, occasionally harrowing but ultimately a bit hopeful?

Not much better

Cling film or fly paper over the door frame. You'll have to leave via a window, but it'll be worth it.

Explosives meant to clear the wrecked hull only blocked the narrow channel out and shrapnel-mined the beach. Visitors and fishermen abandoned the cove and the gulls followed, so no cries cut the coastal wind. Now it thrashed at the cliffs and through the cairn atop the pyrite-seamed face. #WriteCBC

flavor flav has a penchant for speaking about himself in the third person [citation needed]

did flavor flav write this

The last round table - Alex sees she's voted for him, he nods acceptance / understanding. She sees he's voted for her and gets the arse. Really odd.

Whoever at the BBC thinks Alan Sugar's Twat Farm is a suitable replacement for this needs to have a long hard look at themselves. #thetraitors

"They've played it smart cos of what a strong player I am." Twat.

The Scottish Sunday Herald TV guide featured this preview of the Trump inauguration.

It’s fucking brilliant.

Me, whenever Joe thinks he’s on to someone. #TheTraitors

Also, many happy returns.

Marvelled at how she banged on about the sisterhood and how she was with Linda til the end, having just voted her out. The end, I suppose.

Joe's pronunciation of 'burial' should get him voted out or murdered. Looks like they've all forgotten about Linda anyway. #thetraitors

The loss of a comic wonder. Very sad news indeed.x

Judgy Jeff getting in on the Christmas excess shaming. Thanks, technology.

A map of the Kiribati island nation, showing place names London, Paris, Poland, and Banana.

Getting a sense of "ah fuck it" from the Kiribatan Town Naming Committee

Have to say I’m not enjoying this reboot of ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ with Elon Goebells and Mark Suckerberg much.

Happy to, and done.

Appreciate the photo doesn't fairly represent the beauty and honesty of the book. Eroding cliffs, wrestling families, berets (gay or otherwise). Absolutely loved it.

The bromance between Elon Musk and Nigel Farage is in trouble

Raced through Cold Fish Soup over Xmas and only a month or so until @adamjfarrer.bsky.social Broken Biscuits is out. Wonderful, heart-rending stories of how we work together (and the grammar of protest).

He's mooking a lost
He's chicking it twoce
He's gong to fond oot
Who's nighty or noose
Arthur Bostrom's coming to town

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Timely repost of a thing I’m dead proud of: Cunk and Shitpeas on migrants. Just to point out that the news media that incite vile racist shit often backpedal when they realise they’ve gone too far. And they’ll be back before you know it.

youtu.be/IYtDgvjwPTw?...

The daughter's just told me mummy has to do her birthday shopping because "only girls can buy girl stuff" and now I'm torn about gender stereotyping in kids' toys. Oh well.

Big Sunday roast with red cabbage has made me feel rather Christmassy, and I'm despite baulking slightly at the mince pies in Aldi yesterday, I'm now OK with it.