cuddly but deadly!

A nice lady explaining to the Blues Brothers that she likes both kinds of music, “country and western.”

I pronounce it both ways

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Damn, this plaque is about to get accused of treason

He hits a half-dozen distinct Garfield Faces in less than 30 seconds here. Remarkable work.

Again, every elected Democrat needs to put out a video stating exactly what Kelly and the others said. If ever there were a line to draw in the sand, it’s here. The military is not the president’s Praetorian Guard.

JB Pritzker asking what time I get into Chicago

I was like, why did I gain hundreds of followers, and then I saw this

United States Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy is seen wearing a blue suit, white shirt, and tan shoes. He's shaking hands with someone in a black outfit.

A close up of his shoes show weird stitching on the side. They look like they're the first shoes ever made in history.

can't believe this ancient mesopotamia shoe wearing ass said people need to dress up at the airport

I have long posited that Daniel Craig's accent in Glass Onion is better than Knives Out because in Knives Out he is trying to do a real Southern accent and is bad at it but in Glass Onion he is just talking like Foghorn Leghorn, which is something a real gay Southern weirdo would do.

Also if you own the Yankees and can’t turn a profit the year after your team went to its first World Series in 15 years you should probably sell due to gross incompetence.

That sound you heard was every GOP elected official with a lick of sense absolutely SHITTING themselves thinking about the visual of Mark Kelly back in uniform before a military court as Whiskey Pete's handpicked chucklefucks try to railroad him on bogus charges.

YouTube video by Johnny Harris What Being a BILLIONAIRE Really Looks Like

Basically did what a lot of rich people do.

youtu.be/PpyPB3BF-hQ?...

Did you know that some MLB owners take out loans against future season ticket sales and then use that money to buy themselves mansions/yachts etc? With the added bonus of being able to whine to fans that the team is actually carrying a lot of debt?

Last dodger owners did this!

you can barely see all the corpses of children killed by conspiracy theories under all them biceps

I feel like it is culturally important to note that I recently played an old episode of the Simpsons on Disney+ for some kids and then a random newer episode and the kids, unprompted, were like “how come this isn’t as funny?” so it’s not just nostalgia we are correct

The people demand to hear more from reasonable folks like Alan Dershowitz

…funny.

Because I guessed funny. And it wasn’t… funny.

Do you get it?

I’ll see myself out.

Next let’s talk about muffins

interesting fact: noah smith is part of an ongoing experiment designed to see how much you could smooth a person’s brain out before they can no longer function

Oh c’mon that’s not even

Wordle 1,618 5/6

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Do you think every person of voting age should be required to vote by law?

I truly believe the majority of human beings want a better world and aren’t voting for it

Marriage A-la-Mode, Plate V: The Death of the Earl, by Simon François Ravenet, after William Hogarth, 1745, 📸 by @evanvucci

quick and simple 15 minute instant pot recipe:

- preheat (800 minutes)
- 15 mins high pressure
- natural release (800 minutes)
- serve and enjoy!

If I were Stephen Miller, I'd be googling "countries without extradition treaties" on a regular basis.

This is the stuff we need to literally unlearn from all of our Star Trek / Star Wars understanding of sentient computers. LLMs are a series of mathematical equations, period. They are not sentient because they can’t be. (Not to say they can’t be useful but they are not *human*!)

this is like that scene in office space where the consultants end up loving peter

People were arguing in my mentions today about whether the Earth is "round" when it's technically an irregular oblate spheroid and look "round" doesn't mean "absolutely perfect sphere" it means round. A soccer ball is round, a cantaloupe is round, a fluffy borb in winter is round, just go with it.

imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy