Scotty Ray

I'll use reverse psychology. GET A DOG

Barack 2Chainz Obama

That's how they do it in Pittsburgh

Robust

If you twisted all the twist ties scattered around my house end to end, they would circle the earth three times

wife brought home an unrecognized tupperware from a friend and when i saw it in the fridge i hissed at it

My personal hygiene may be atrocious, but my file hygiene is immaculate

Getting a professor fired for my essay on how god made men and women use mouses differently

MrAutumnMan.jpg

And you better believe all my bullets and indents are aligned and my fonts are consistent

Oh man I love screenshots

product on a store shelf called "human pet bed"

haha no i'm buying it for a post. yeah sort of an inside joke. no not friends exactly. it's from twitter. no this is for bluesky. bluesky? the app? right yeah like twitter. so this guy cybersmith... yknow it's easier if i show you the tweets. no they don't mind waiting. you don't mind do you?

"warning: do not open outside" tag with birds attacking an open box on a box of mealworms

best package warning graphic i've ever seen 🪶

A thing about me is I'm a data and computers guy and I hate project management and meetings and calendaring but god damn I do enjoy putting together a nice word document. I love to write up a process or revise an SOP. I'm a total pervert for tracked changes

theyre calling me the Fresh Prince of Dell Air

a man in a suit and tie stands next to a woman in a green turtleneck and says lana lana lana Alt: Sterling Archer holding a drink saying "Lana. Lana. Lana." to an annoyed looking Lana standing next to him with her arms folded

I'd be doing this to it every day

[day four of living with the sex robot] do you have any games on you

For just 50 cents a day you can throw a roll of pennies at Keith in accounting

(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee

Weird Al Yankovic: What if God Smoked Cannabis?

I gotchu

Bluesky notification: "Randy Bachman followed you" with follow back button

He's trying to steal my insanely catchy song!! Back off, Bachman!

I don't even remember. I think I just used the basic silver one

WINAMP WRAPPED

Llama Whippin' Intro: 10,000 plays

Making this my new vocal warmup

Einstein's works enter public domain next year! at last we get a queer retelling of the theory of relativity

Screenshot of tweet that says: "giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet" sounds like something a homophobic gym teacher would say

I can't listen to the song without thinking of

Hi, just making sure you saw something infuriating that you wouldn't have seen otherwise and doesn't affect you at all! Hope this helps!

Merry Christmas, I knitted you a scarf from all my belly button lint