Earl the Flamingo

Don’t care. I’d rather watch a high energy show in a language I don’t know because it’ll be fun.

Yeaaaaah, he’s not the brightest brick in the outhouse there, eh.

Don’t lick your luggage. Check.

I think it’s ingrained into every single kid from somewhere that whenever they do something stupid that would cause injury the first thing they do is shout “I’m Okay” as they stagger away.

We’re only handing out candy sourced from countries with no internet, made by indigenous people, and manufactured before 1963, so no risk of of that here.

No, by strict definition she received remuneration for sexual favors offered.

May have to change out my Halloween costume this year

a.co/d/9sC0KKz

There’s others, by the way. Just search for inflatable frog costume

Yeah, I’m gonna wait until the source of the news isn’t Trump.

And if your headline is “Trump Says”, I sure hope you’ve got a secondary source someplace else.

When your training is, “rough up anyone you disagree with”, you might be and sauce agent.

I’m not a little southern lady, but Bless your Heart, mister President….

And I mean that in the, “you just said or did something stupid, you ignorant simian”, form of that statement.

I love it. Now I’m wondering how my dinosaur inflatable will take a paintball….for research purposes.

I think I have a new curse to use for people that drive like whack jobs on public streets.

……and a hole halfway down the side……

I’ve heard the 82nd Airborne isn’t doing anything, and would probably like to not be deployed in the US.

Why not both?

Sweet - did you tag and measure his vitals before releasing him back in the wild with a tracker and a really wild story to share with other mailmen around the campfire that evening?

I work at home. Sometimes I don’t even change into work clothes.

Heck with that. Just pretend you’re talking to your invisible friend. It really freaks ‘em out at the CVS if people are in the same aisle and you’re arguing with thin air.

Looks like the ACLU is gonna be tied up with flag burnings again.

Just pondering - did the military brass have assigned seating for that meeting earlier this week, or were there name tags on each chair stating who went where?

Counting the clocks in my office - 27. Most of which actually work, and at least one or two have the correct time.

I love browsing through thrift stores. Sometimes you get nothing but questions, sometimes you find that one of a kind collectible you’ve been searching for for years.

It’s the thrill of a big game safari, without the danger of being molested by a giraffe.

I ain’t advertising their brand of liquid without a bit of payola coming my way. If they want free product placement in my kitchen, they better cough up some free product every once in a while.

Makes the target bigger, too.

I will staunchly defend your right to speak what you want. Unless you’re facist, racist, misogynistic, or any number of reprehensible things along those lines. If what you’re saying and doing is screwing over people, then you can sod off.

I haven’t been outside yet. Has the rapture happened? Do I need to go over and feed the neighbors cat?

Dang - I missed the last antifa meeting. Anyone got the minutes?

Guess I got a new litmus test for doctors…

Do you believe Tylenol causes autism?

If the answer is yes, find a new doctor. And report them to the medical board.

So, rapture

Thinking it’s gonna really mess up traffic, with all them people leaving their vehicles all sudden-like. Sounds pretty unchristian-like to me. Maybe they’ll get a warning or a trumpet or something so they can pull onto the median or something first.

Had to look him up just to make sure. Wow. Decertified from boards, Covid misinformation, retracted reports, not to mention the political posturing and parroting.