Noah Smith

From the LiveFromNewYork community on Reddit: Who's more Grizzled with Robert Duvall, Garth Brooks, and Norm Macdonald Explore this post and more from the LiveFromNewYork community

This is not Robert Duvall’s most well-known or most acclaimed performance, but damn he’s good in it. Feeling pretty wistful myself right now. www.reddit.com/r/LiveFromNe...

I kinda love that much of the cast of Star Trek: Starfleet Academy is so new that they don’t have Wikipedia entries yet.

I show restaurant when I’m at a tapioca bar, so I never pick up the microphone.

DAVE: Hey Mom, while you’re in Norway, have you seen any fjords?

DAVE’S MOTHER: (Starts to answer the question)

DAVE: Mom, just say “no, I haven’t seen any fjords.”

DAVE’S MOTHER: No, David, I haven’t seen any fjords.

DAVE: Have you seen any Chevys?

Sigh. The Winter Olympics won’t ever be quite as fun as they were when David Letterman was sending his mother to Lillehammer, Norway as a special correspondent.

I know the Jeopardy! writing staff probably wasn’t making a specific reference to a 13-year-old podcast episode, but, hey, I can’t be the only person on Earth who makes re-listening to every CBB holiday episode a part of their Christmas tradition … can I?

This recent Jeopardy category reminded me of a moment on the 2012 @cbbworld.bsky.social Xmas episode where @jondaly.bsky.social, as Bill Cosby Bukowski slightly slurs when he says “the jazz tradition” and @pftompkins.bsky.social as Ice-T points out that it sounded like “the dreaded jazz tradition”

ME: Oh, I don’t really have any ear for music.

ALSO ME: Is that Thurl Ravenscroft singing the bass part of these nonsense lyrics during a montage in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?

(It was)

As I was eyeing the total, I was disarmed when she told me to hand her the check so she could foot the bill for this leg of the journey with the cash she’d earmarked. I headed to the back.

I want to propose Team Freestyle Figure Skating where every single member of your team is in the ice all at once, no advance practice or coordination, skating to a random song, everyone doing their own thing, trying not to crash into each other.

As a non-fascist Pats fan I appreciate your love and your hate. I guess I want the Pats to win in a way that somehow causes a very specific aneurism in Kraft’s brain that converts him to our side and he dedicates his life and fortune to defeating Trumpism.

Alanis Morissette was only 21 when Jagged Little Pill came out. It’s pretty unfair that anyone expected her to have it all figured out just yet.

The great thing about this observation is that it works for three out of the four guys in that picture.

Hope there was a bonus if you rolled doubles.

Yesterday’s Wordle.

Chime and Chide wait for no man.

Now every time I talk about putting ice cubes in my drinks, or dealing with icy streets or anything, I always feel the need to make it clear that I’m not talking about you know what.

Really shitty that this asshole has managed to ruin the concept of frozen water.

ME, A CRANKY DELCO RESIDENT: If only there were some sort of global information network you could use to look this up.

You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test

Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs)

Good tech.

Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales)

Bad tech.

I had not seen film or video of Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey until pretty recently and you can tell how seriously Americans are taking this crisis because if it was 2% less severe we’d see MANY more posts about how hizzoner could get it.

YouTube video by Liberty Mutual Dating App | Truth Tellers | Liberty Mutual Insurance Commercial

I know this isn’t the main thing people are worried about at the moment, but the rules about HOW the Liberty Biberty guy and his new girlfriend mispronounce things seem to be all over the place.

youtu.be/FF8IHX-nYWE?...

Greg Bovino Loses His Job The Border Patrol chief has been ousted from his role as “commander at large,” and will return to El Centro.

More like Bov-OUT-o, amiright?

www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...

There’s a new category at the Oscars this year for Best Casting. A lot of people think Sinners will likely get a nomination.

What?!?!?

The casting of that movie was so lazy! They used the same actor to play two different characters!

Like it would’ve killed you to hold a few more auditions?

Frank Soup … yeah, that’s perfect.

MY KID’S 11-YEAR-OLD FRIEND STAYING AT OUR
HOUSE FOR A SLEEPOVER: Do you have any aged cheddar?

ME: No. Just some basic processed cheddar slices for sandwiches.

HIM: Well … age it.

All of the teams in my 10-year-old’s youth basketball league are just named after the color of their uniform tees –– the orange team, the red team, etc. So one of the teams is called “Dark Heather.”

Me too! But my job is perfectly wrapping the lid of a box with the same wrapping paper as the box itself, so you can open the present without tearing the paper, you know, like human beings do.

I keep busy.

I remember when it was still a rumor that Tobey Maguire might be back as Spider-Man in No Way home I was thinking they should bring in Hammond too.

It wasn’t absurd. Maguire hadn’t been in a live action movie since 2014. Hammond had 5 IMDB credits including a Tarantino movie between 2014-2021.

Wondering how many people will fall for that. To be clear, I am not Taran Noah Smith, who played the youngest kid on Home Improvement. He’s like 8 years younger than I am.