Hecubus

I LOVE when the parent has to eat crow. In 1981, my older bro wanted a TV for his room so he could watch hockey while the parents watched the news. Mom said "if you come up with half the money I'll cover the other half". Six months later he showed her $100 from his paper route and she shit herself

Well To Be Fay-Ah, I grew up in a cold climate with lots of snow and windchill and whatnot, but I am useless in the heat, especially humid heat. I can walk my dog in sub zero temps without gloves, but I can't walk the length of myself when it's 38C and humid. It really is relative.

I'm gonna go with Jello Biafra because your skeet kinda sounds like DK lyrics

Hahahaaa the audio really makes it

I lucked out with mine too! Such a huge heart. You know what song used to make her cry because she felt so bad for the singer? The Sweater Song by Weezer! Used to break her heart. Extremely kind and with a HUGE sense of justice and fairness. She's everything

And so cheap!!!

Overnight Weetabix

I mean, I'd try it

Absolutely. My kid's happiness and ability to navigate this shitty world are paramount to me. Plus I love having her around. Not really looking forward to the growing pains but I'll be there any time she needs me. And yeah I always thought the 18yo kickout was total bullshit

Aw maaaan, my kid JUST turned 13

You could make a drinking game out of this video. Every time she says "so"

A nice thing about getting older and becoming invisible is the number of times the same person will give you a sample of bourbon chicken at the mall

Haha well done sir!

You know I'm something of a deity myself

In the pantheon of booze, brandy is underrated.

I'm not drinking brandy, I've been smoking sour chem all night, I'm just saying

Get in loser, we're losers. This is the loser bus

Talkin bout @noodledead.bsky.social

We haven't "known" each other that long but your pfp is great.

My pfp is a piece that I commissioned from a local artist about... hell, 12, 15 years ago? I sent her a family portrait and asked her to make us into zombies

Translation: GET READY FOR THE WASPS

I'm at an absolute loss for words at that one... just so absurd and accurate. And I love the origin... my kid goofing on Google Earth and getting that look from a random animal in another hemisphere.

"You're not from around here, are ya"

Met a lot of cool people here today, but wanted to introduce you to Ms Shey

Oh hell I couldn't have come up with that in ten years with a team of writers

Immortalized and rightly so.

"East St. Louis?"

"Is there any other St. Louis?"

The birds are starting to sing again and I anxiously await the Cardinals

There's not enough room for me to write a 2k word essay about this, but trust me MAM, you are not alone. And when have those ones you love most and always seem to disappoint come around when YOU need help?

Having a big heart is a beautiful thing and I feel for those without one, but yeah it hurts

I will always and forever repost anything that calls out Nancy Reagan, I don't care how much she loved to throat it, that doesn't absolve her and she'll always be terrible

Ya know, for all the talk of Bermuda triangles and quicksand and drinking from hoses, nobody has mentioned the ubiquity of carpet burns.

They were REAL, and you young whippersnappers have no idea what it was like to be a toddler or small child where everything you sat or played on was polyester

I whisper sweet fuck alls

And the writers of Sam & Cat

I'll admit that I've always had an interest, but ya know, if you've learned to eat then you should probably learn to cook. One of the most famous cookbooks is called The Joy Of Cooking for a reason. It feeds your mind, body and soul. Nothing better than making people happy in a basic communal way