Sam Reid

Does anyone else think it should be less expensive to not die

I’m surprised more women don’t carry French fries in their purse

If I could have one superpower it would be mind control. Not to control anyone else’s mind, just my own

The worst part of losing my pet rock is that I think I see him all the time

A lot of times you can shame people just by repeating what they said

Just thinking about all those job creators creating those jobs. Really nice of them to do that

Listen we need to provide incentives for rich people or else they won't want to be rich anymore that's just economics

Does anyone know if the air quality is good enough to launch a bunch of explosives into the sky