Amber Marshall 🎃🦇

Oh, I'm sure an actual country music fan can name several. My husband's middle name is Waylon after Jennings.

I think it's so cool that parody is protected as fair use. Like we all agreed that it's okay to copy something if we're doing it funny-style. Because we love to laugh.

Girls get the cute, big-eyed one.

Seriously, if you're that desperate to experience the back of the house, just walk in the back door of any restaurant and I'm pretty sure a dishwasher just quit without notice, hop in the pit, motherfucker.

Johnny Cash is the ONLY cool country musician (okay fine, Dolly Parton too).

Right? An elephant has that trunk.

Halloween, duh.

An email from my local library, with an ad in my email browser advertising Kindle Unlimited, Amazon's competition for lending libraries.

Nice try, Amazon

I think they've since called into question the "ergot-stricken rye caused the Salem Witch Trials" theory but between that and the fungus that zombifies ants, we know fungus will fuck you up.

Has anyone tried coming out with rack treatments yet? Like they put you on a New-Age version of a torture rack and just stretch you a bit? I bet if they were very careful with it, it could feel pretty good.

I made mine out of flour sack towels from Walmart!

Captain America looking peeved, captioned what the star spangled fuck?

It's like how they deal with whole wheat bread being kind of dry by upping the sugar content (with honey, sometimes) so it will absorb and retain moisture, and then I try to make a ham sandwich with mustard on something that's a sweet bread in all but name.

I thought this was a font joke. 😅

My glasses would be more perpetually filthy than they already are.

Ugh. I mean, intellectually I know it's just a grain like any grain, like grits and cheese, but no. No thank you. It's too engrained in my brain that oatmeal is sweet, not savory.

A face only a mother could fu--
No, abort joke. I can't complete that sentence. 🫠

(seriously, though, I hope you're okay 🫂)

Whoa whoa, back up!

Less than two euros? 🤔

Shit, my friends won't even offer me one of theirs when we hang out and they're not bad off financially.

Time again to remind people that no one is giving out weed gummies to kids at Halloween (or any other time). Even if it's one apiece, that's too expensive.

You think they'd be fooled by apple mint if I crushed it up some? It's fuzzy.

Best of luck! 🫂

Amazon says I haven't placed an order for the last three months 🤘🏻

Right? "Can't get into anything because I'll have to interrupt it or I'll lose track of time and be late." 🫠

Right? What is stale bread? The fungus gets it before it has the time.

I freeze all my bread (Garin hates it; I always have a loaf in the freezer and rotate it out when we run out). And I'm already tempted to get a bread machine, don't encourage me 😜

YouTube video by Anthony Vincent Wake up

Good morning!
youtube.com/shorts/21jVF...

This evening I have this weird-ass sciatica like I had when I was pregnant, the only positive of which was that I never got pain, just a sensation like I have ice water running down my leg. 🤨 Today it feels like Icy Hot down the front to side of my right thigh.

It would be something new, at least!