mike benner

CLASSES — mike benner

Are you a writer? Are you itching to write a new pilot script but unsure of where to start? Or do you just work better with deadlines and accountability? Sign up for my pilot intensive class! Come in with a logline and I'll help you finish a draft in just 8 weeks! www.mikebenner.club/classes

It’s been a scary couple of days but we are ultimately okay for now. Thanks for checking in!

I’d prefer a gallon of bleach

Everyone that played Among Us during the pandemic gets to pick ONE ceo

Almost caught me slippin

Incellderm: Just because you don’t respect women, that doesn’t mean you can’t respect your skin.

Following starter packs was a mistake

*at the matchmaker*

My type? Well I’m a bit of a sapiosexual, so I prefer women with Brazilian BRAIN Lifts!

*stares at me in silence*

Could you also put down big old fat dumper?

Greta

Joining bluesky is kind of the opposite of touching grass.

Me: Sharks, I have six words for you: Six foot sub double sided dild--

Mr. Wonderful: I'LL GIVE YOU $400 MILLION FOR FIVE PERCENT!!!!

I don't know how weird I'm allowed to be on here yet, I've wrote and rewrote a post about Clifford the Big Red Dog humping me to death like a dozen times before deleting it.

It's been a while since I cranked out tweets, I'm trying to regain my posting legs here.

You know whats gross? 144 of any particular item.

my life a tubi

Do you ever just go on Threads to feel what it's like to live in a dream sequence from Twin Peaks?

i believe we can get kevin durant on here if enough people post about him messing up their parlay so he makes an account to yell at them

You can have ass, you can have gas, you can have grass. Pick two.

are we on here now

We're doing a live DEAD PILOTS SOCIETY this Sunday 1/21 at a reasonable hour for a reasonable price!
Terrific pilots by @mike-eagle.bsky.social @benner.bsky.social. Terrific stars incl @pftompkins.bsky.social Tawny Newsome, @phillamarr.bsky.social + more!
Tix: www.elysiantheater.com/shows/deadpi...

They should put Chris Estrada in a marvel movie. Make him The Thing, why not

Do you think everyone that worked on the new Wonka movie was just super depressed for six months afterwards?

Everything reminds me of her

Me when I drive by a place that sells hot dogs:

Posting AI headshots of yourself is very loserish behavior, I am sorry to break it to you all.

Remember when Andre 3000 recorded a rap song about Dracula getting married while wearing football pads then people spent 20 years arguing whether he is the greatest rapper of all time or not

i love you but i am not reading your 2,000 word instagram caption

Only in New York

In your face, Hemingway.