The Name’s Nutz. Neil Nutz.

Just did my “burp during a call before realising I wasn’t on mute” thing again.

First day back at work in ages

Right up there with train station piano players, and idiots who block paths in train stations gawping at piano players.

Been eating some foreign chewy sweets that I brought back from holiday, and one of my fillings just fell out.

Lesson learnt.

Take me down to the Pingu-dise City,
Where the NOOT NOOT NOOT and the NOOT NOOT NOOT NOOT

Didn’t need the last five words

Clean sweep on the 1% Club, and feeling smug because I didn’t do it on national TV and no one can prove me wrong.

ACD is a loan player we’ll fall in love with. Not healthy.

We made them look silly on occasions today, without playing anywhere near as well as last week.

It’s got to look like Valderrama by now

“Chapter 1: My Fantasy Pudding - Pudding It In”

God, I can watch pub karaoke videos like this all day. Only 47 seconds long and the ending is SUPERB.

Not there today because my son is in Cornwall so I’ve given my tickets to my brother. But we never got that diversity in entertainment last season, so I expect it to stay.

“K.P.I - one of The Sidemen. This is the language of business”

He’s only been on once and he’s the best bit about the show.

Happy Birthday to Nigel Mansell

Would you like a brew?
Would you like a brew?
Would you like a brew?
Who wants a brew?
Who wants a brew?

This is just like the time I walked into the Ferrari shop and ordering a Ferrari without first confirming the price and then being expected to pay more for it than I would a second hand Cortina.

I knew I should have told them there was a cost of living crisis, they’d have surely knocked 90% off.

Not going to read anything else today, nothing will beat this

Friday

Tank fly, Boss Walk
Jam, Nitty Gritty
You’re listening to the voice of-

Furthest I’ve been:

N: Oslo, Norway
E: Sydney, Australia
S: Santiago, Chile
W: Calgary, Canada

“Can we not disguise it?”

The perfect host.

More of this:

Hedgehogs:

The buffalo one? Yeah, magnificent.

‘Mon the buffalo

Home after ten days of a holiday that wouldn’t just beat a Jet2 holiday, but pummel it senseless, tweak its nipples, make orphans of its crotch droppings and remind everyone that every other holiday beats a Jet2 holiday.

OK, maybe apart from one at Pontins.

Right, who’s up for the discarded tree bark fish?