Tyteaux

My 16 yr old to my 13 yr old: WHO IS "PUSSY WHORE" IN YOUR PHONE?

A hand with a green-painted thumbnail and an old, scratched watchband holds up two eggs: one unwashed gray-green duck egg, one white store-bought chicken egg. The latter is noticeably smaller by at least a third. In the background, cartons for each egg type, an orange with a band of zest cut from it, a soap bottle shaped like a white pumpkin, and a sink full of dirty dishes.

Had to buy eggs for the first time in close to a year because one of my layers got sick. IT'S NOT THE SAME.

You don't hate me because of how much I drink.
You don't hate me because I say cringey shit.
You don't hate me for what I do or think or even am.

You hate me because you've always hated me.

You're a crazy bitch who'll always hate me.

You're a fucking psycho and I'm done listening to you, Vic.

Really, it's my fault for looking at Nextdoor in a fascist-heavy city.

On god, I don't know how y'all are out here dealing with the stress of existing in humanity on a public level day in and say out. My best friend, MOH at both my weddings, just texted me for a third day in a row and that's my afternoon panic attack sorted.

I. Cannot. People.

My son got an extra reward in school today for finding a hiding spot during a lock down drill where only he could fit.

Like, good, but tactical advantages of dwarfism vs. school shootings was not on my conversational bingo card for today.

GAD didn't get me.
MDD didn't get me.
PTSD didn't get me.
Post-partum psychosis got me.

I was going to kill myself so I wouldn't hurt anyone else. My youngest was almost a year old.

It doesn't matter how strong you are. There's no sunk cost if you make it out. Call in the troops.

Try everything.

I did it so that my spouse could look my judgemental Catholic mother in the eye and honestly say "they tried everything".

Even if you don't think it will work, try everything.

Even if you think it won't work.

I got on med through one of those online pill mills. It took me 48 hrs and a couple of lies (they won't prescribe if you're actively suicidal). I didn't do it because I thought it would work.

I was planning to kill myself three years ago today.

Go get help.

Get on meds.

Do something.

It's worth it.

AND MY SIDE OF THE BED WAS AGAINST THIS COTAMN THING. AINT SLEPT PROPER SINCE.

Listening to an audio book of the Bible while I work (yes, still Pagan, just like learning) and BOY HOWDY does Numbers 5 catch you off guard if you're not expecting it. "Here's who's going to carry the lamps. Here's who's in charge of curtains. Here's the medication abortion ritual."

Sorry, what?

I will never be more disappointed that the rapture didn't happen than I will tomorrow. I'm already disappointed.

So you know when you have a panic attack for no reason, come down, have a snack, and realize the reason you've been trying and failing to query your novel for years might have something to do with your mom STILL believing you were lazy about scholarship apps instead of just having GAD? Me too.

ME MA IS AT IT AGAIN. I'm going to go have another drink and journal rather than publicly going NC on Facebook (the only platform for such a decision, tbh). If anyone sees this, remind me that my "mindful alcohol consumption" app says I only get one more tonight and we're out of the good rum anyway.

If you want to talk about political violence, talk about all the blood on all the hands, not just the blood in the street.

The protester responded "The problem is not that I'm being violent. The problem is that you think you're not."

Political violence is like domestic violence: there's more to it than physical contact. Political violence is laws that harm, it's rhetoric that threatens, policies that kill.

So this one time I happened to be at a...gathering, and there was this dickhead podcaster walking the line, jamming a mic into people's faces, getting into personal space, and shouting loaded questions while recording. A protester separated him from his device, was accused of unnecessary violence.

Have been tagged in to provide the reminder about traumatic video because of the Charlie Kirk shooting video going around!

1. Settings -> Content & Media, turn off "autoplay video"
2. Keep your device sound off while browsing so an accidental activation won't include the sound

Leftists Lobsters fighting meme

Are you ready for the most annoying 48 hour discourse cycle of your life

My, but these are some events that are eventing. Mhm. Mhm.

Me: OK, DD says we're picking up brisket at this dive bar in the sketchiest part of town.
13yo: Wait, Vultures? Near the Sheep?
Me: Bruh IDK that's what the app says.
13yo: If it's where I think, I almost got in a fight there once.
Me: How tf...
13yo: Nice place, tho. You should check it out.

I don't know what he drives, but if they bunch up together even a smaller sedan should do.

Left the church around the time he became pope, but I've always said that if anyone could have made me stay it would have been him. He did some foolish shit, yeah, but I'd be hard pressed to pick a pope who's done better. That in itself is sad, but it's where we are.

If any of you are curious what's going to be scrawled across the lintel of the door to my bunker...

Union strong!

My oldest child, after signing it's learner's permit with a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NAME than either it's dead or chosen names (think Jethro Fauntleroy instead of Jane Doe or Fred Doe):

"It's fine! Cops can't read cursive!"

You have a DUTY to be able to be as self-sufficient as possible if you're going to wfh. That's the trade off. That's the gig. If you don't want to be in the office, you need to not need anything from the office. Know how to maintain your equipment.

Stop blowing up Teams with your foolishness.

My fellow Work From Homies:

I need you, for the love of any god you choose, to learn top-down troubleshooting. If a system is down for multiple people, restarting/clearing cache will do fuck all. If no one else is having a similar problem, it's your equipment or your profile. Local vs. global.

We are each other's minder.