Lil Crow

DMV clerk cackling as I check “organ donor” box.

Still plenty of time to ruin Christmas

I think I’m finally willing to accept that 1980 isn’t 20 years ago.

Liar liar pants on fire!🔥

only watching the supermoon for the commercials

Thinking about joining a mentoring program where I teach kids how to obsess about every bad decision while drinking coffee at midnight.

You won’t recognise the Supermoon with its glasses on.

I find it very difficult to breakdance under these conditions.

🫶🏻🥰🏆

A year and a half sober today.

🏆😂🏆😂🏆😂🏆

Now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cob

A terrier sits inside next to a glass door, looking up and to the left. A squirrel stands on the other side of the glass.

“Who is it, Charlie?”

“It’s Tim from next door. He wants us to know that our bird feeder’s empty.”

Pets should live forever and if they don't they should come back as little pet ghosts to haunt you (lovingly)

I once was gumby enough for a menage entendre, now I’m plain old scaffolding.

I'm not flexible enough for a double entendre

Yeth.

*quietly beatboxing while the judge delivers my sentence

I don’t talk to myself when I’m alone because I read the room.

TV screen shot of skier with lower third reading “CAN ERIK READ.”

yes, but he still has to sound out some of the longer words

them: you should cut out the caffeine
me: there are already too many murders in america

Bunnys of a feather? 😂

I have never seen a Harry Potter movie (or read a book).

I’ve walked by the t.v as one was playing and I feel that they are good for kids. They suck for me. 😂

I like some superhero and space film but trek and superman are a no go on my list.

You shouldnt ever be around animals if you arent smart enough to understand that you have to fully research how to care for and train them properly BEFORE buying them! It’s not the bunny that is the shithead.

@smanches.bsky.social what did you say about your bunny? Did YOU research HOW to train a bunny, AND spend the time you do it? Do you know all about bunnies social, emotional behaviour? NO! Because if you did your do diligence as a proper pet owner and found that it is extremely easy train a bunny,

Social media isnt for you

Scrolling though Tiktok looking for funny things to show my boyfriend is the closest I will ever come to hunting

😂🏆