I have, like, AT LEAST six thoughts every day.
05.02.2026 07:15 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
Maybe chicken just tastes like a bunch of stuff you've never eaten.
05.02.2026 06:39 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Showing my support for No Kings by fistfighting emperor penguins at the south pole.
05.02.2026 02:50 β π 7 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Ahhh, fish. The vegetable of meat.
05.02.2026 02:17 β π 47 π 11 π¬ 0 π 0
This meeting couldβve been a karate match
05.02.2026 02:33 β π 235 π 43 π¬ 6 π 2
Taking up smoking to ween myself off nicotine lozenges.
01.02.2026 05:28 β π 15 π 4 π¬ 2 π 0
Nobody:
Guy in 1970's band to other guys in 1970's band: Let's hang out with no shirts on!
03.02.2026 08:47 β π 13 π 4 π¬ 3 π 0
Appliance salesman: sorry, what?
Me: I said I'm looking for a dryer that a stepmom could get stuck in
04.02.2026 05:47 β π 38 π 6 π¬ 1 π 0
Does this floor moving under my feet make me look high?
04.02.2026 05:45 β π 4 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
frances' law: any outing before 10am is simply a pretext to get a mcmuffin
03.02.2026 15:25 β π 154 π 29 π¬ 7 π 1
Imagine Bill calling Hillary "Lovey."
04.02.2026 04:43 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Clinton will admit that yes, heβs been to Pedophile Island β but only after getting shipwrecked on what was supposed to be a three-hour tour.
04.02.2026 04:27 β π 17 π 2 π¬ 1 π 0
The planet's overcrowded, so don't have children- have jello instead. There's always room for it.
03.02.2026 21:50 β π 4 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
Legendary ring announcer Michael Buffer.
"LET'S GET READY TO GENERATE CONTENT!"
03.02.2026 16:54 β π 6 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
i'm fatuated with you, i'm not πͺπ―fatuated with you.
03.02.2026 13:50 β π 92 π 35 π¬ 4 π 1
Yeah, they blew their shirt budget on 'ludes.
03.02.2026 09:02 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Nobody:
Guy in 1970's band to other guys in 1970's band: Let's hang out with no shirts on!
03.02.2026 08:47 β π 13 π 4 π¬ 3 π 0
It's going to finally be over 20 degrees today for grounding day, and if I see my testicles descend, that means spring is right around the corner.
02.02.2026 16:55 β π 4 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
A book on a rack whose title is How to Date Buildings: An Easy Reference Guide.
whatever you do donβt ask their age
01.02.2026 07:34 β π 1039 π 173 π¬ 37 π 20
If a companyβs hiring sign says, βCome grow with us,β youβre about to do the job of roughly 3-5 people
29.12.2025 01:41 β π 756 π 167 π¬ 11 π 3
Work should have an end of day hug sesh like SNL
05.01.2026 18:37 β π 126 π 32 π¬ 14 π 2
When trains started cracking down on stowaways it led to a sharp rise in hobophobia
08.01.2026 17:42 β π 122 π 39 π¬ 7 π 0
Happy Birthday, duder!
01.02.2026 13:42 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
Not everybody was kung fu fighting. I saw a little thumb wrestling, too.
30.01.2026 12:28 β π 215 π 74 π¬ 6 π 0
Itβs not box wine, itβs cardboardeaux.
28.01.2025 19:43 β π 1184 π 311 π¬ 20 π 8
Telling the barista to announce me as "The Center Square of Debonair" when my latte's ready.
01.02.2026 05:54 β π 4 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
Taking up smoking to ween myself off nicotine lozenges.
01.02.2026 05:28 β π 15 π 4 π¬ 2 π 0
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole My Virginity
01.02.2026 05:00 β π 7 π 2 π¬ 0 π 0
There is no hotter planet in our solar system than planet "The Sun."
01.02.2026 04:52 β π 8 π 2 π¬ 0 π 1
Can't believe Optimus Prime is in the Epstein files.
31.01.2026 23:48 β π 7 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
she/they/that/bitch
filthy midatlantic. accent haver.
BCHC β οΈ
pfp: art by @riotgrlerin.bsky.social
"Democracy Dies In Dampness"
Parody
writer. used to be on twitter. ready to have a baby
she/her/hers
queer π³οΈβπ
always awkward. usually quiet. sometimes funny. probably hungry.
avi by @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:wvt2kn37a4ln5hy7etrornfz/feed/aaak67arhxfbm
When anyone tries to fist bump you, pretend you think they're trying to hand you loose change.
Oops, All garbage!
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:qn6ddtqcomsvml3riv3quddi/feed/aaapdsf5ejhxk
*(famous). connoisseur of violent trash. http://thehell.zone
Follow me to receive notifications via DM whenever you're added to a starter pack, block list, feed or when someone blocks your account.
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1. Be excellent to each other
2. Party on dudes
Mine: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
My care bear stares: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaad7aufcmm3c
all my stuff's here anyway
he/him
*empties coin purse on table* https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaanpkajamccm
Clown. Hobo. Ballerina. Bagpipe Player. Army Major.
six feet of radioactive decay and candy
sweetposts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahsr44yjqoy
I donβt have time for this. Gen Xer in Florida. Same username across the multiverse.
My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach.
99% of these are recycled tweets.
But do you frolic?
π± https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jbbmqp3piyjq2huf67xnkaqq/feed/aaabtjiqs3mhw
Cats rule over hoomans. Into UFOs and other strange phenomena, e.g. cats. The natural world, e.g. cats. Spirituality, healing, creativity and gratitude (mostly for cats.) Weird and very very silly. The odd grump and random ranting/swearing because flawed.
Minneapolis non-comedian
Made webcomics, did improv, created Make Me Watch TV and other unnecessary web stuff.
"Has a history of creating conceptual internet projects" -Billboard Magazine
(he/him)
β¨ what a shame sheβs fucked in the head β¨
πββοΈsurfinβ the webπΈοΈ | words 4 @flagrantmag.com
@hard-drive.net - @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social
only the slightest whiff of mental illness. she/her π³οΈβπ
