LovelyDeep

shitposter is an anagram of "repost shit"

(watching porn) what the hell.. I don’t think he loves her

people just don’t let the bodies hit the floor like they used to

I’m shy at first and then gradually turn insane.

You’re the quiet answer to a loud day…..

just thinking about xc skiing 50k forced me to call my dr for an inhaler.

Do I know who you are? No. I don’t even wanna know who I am.

My pelvic floor is now so powerful it can defeat men with a single pulse.

ask your doctor if being a dumb bitch on the internet is right for you

can’t believe i evolved from primordial ooze for this *gestures to everything*

with this blunt, i thee wed

I bought an SUV and immediately a delivery truck showed up in my driveway to drop off a pair of New Balance sneakers, a newborn and a wonderfold stroller.

Thank you. :)

Omg!

Sorry your BF thinks “labia majora” is a constellation.

Empires fall.

Villages endure.

*kisses the chip on your shoulder

Never stop finding the beauty in simply being alive. Things may be really shitty right now, but the sun still rises and sets in a magical fashion.

Predictive analytics should have told you I was gonna skeet about your mom’s sweater bunnies

Some days the world mutes you.

doing meal prep (organising my meds)

ME: why are you holding a strobe light?

WIFE: it’s a mood ring

Who called them redneck arsonists and not firecrackers?

Hi

She lit up a room, like a flashbang grenade.

grace extended outward is grace extended inward

This day in history. 2012. At the Brit Awards Adele gave the suits in the front row the finger why I don't know but it seems like a nice idea.

I knocked some things over and apologized to a framed photo of an uncle I don’t even speak to

Too kind. Thank you!