Polite Yet Ultimately Malevolent Mailman

It's like Anthony Rendon Part II, minus the being a gigantic asshole, but plus the "everyone knew this was a bad idea from the start" caveat.

Every single thing this guy has taken a personal special interest in during his second term has been the actions of an old man failing to grapple with his looming mortality.

All the Olympic figure skating routines are leaning heavily into 90s europop/dance ballads, and... Is it really too much to just get *one* routine using Planet of the Bass?

Bro has clocked in for his shift at the Letting Genies Out of Bottles Factory every day for years and now can't figure out what's with all the genies.

One of my fondest memories of my dad's sense of humor and politics was when his brother in law was ranting at a BBQ about homeless camps in LA being "gross" and an "eyesore," and my dad just turned and said "No one's being homeless *at you,* Matt," and went back to his own conversation.

No disrespect, but I was thinking the exact opposite just last night. It is completely non-existent in my social media circles, but the amount of ink and airtime I've seen dedicated to it every time I open a mainstream news outlet is just nuts. It's basically Lindbergh Baby Part II in their world

Guy literally put on a cishet marriage ceremony in the middle of a football stadium and conservatives are still furious, man.

U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.

And Sam Darnold, who was NOT out indefinitely

ACAB includes dudes who pose like this

Maybe trite to say, but man the Patriots' easy path all season to reach this point is really showing itself right now. Totally outclassed by an actual great team.

MAHA hiring a literal rapist to do their super bowl commercial for healthy eating. This admin just loves to remind you they're sex pests at every turn.

This feels not dissimilar to when my 12th grade English teacher made us read Canterbury Tales in middle English.

If I hadn't been priced out of it decades ago, I'd 100% be living there right now.

You've got significant chunks of the population telling you Newsom personally is a non-starter for perfectly valid reasons. If the candidate doesn't matter as much to *you* personally, and beating Trumpism is the first and only goal, it is incumbent upon *you* to shift, not Newsom haters.

There's a whole-ass primary season yet to happen and these people are still trying to tell you you're gonna lose in 2028 if you don't rally around Newsom. Hard to come to any conclusion other than they like Newsom and agree with him on trans people.

The opening ceremony for the Olympics featuring a touching tribute to Andrew Cuomo.

Oh yeah, we are *definitely* in Italy for this ceremony.

To be fair, if a 4'11" guy with spiked hair in The Year of Our Lord 2026 walks into my bar, I'm tossing him out just to avoid losing my liquor license for serving the underage

To paraphrase Mark Twain: "I would consider any library to be a good library so long as it contained no books by Piers Anthony. Even if it contained no books at all."

There's just a whole class of journalism dork who thinks the most high-minded, sophisticated, intellectual thing you can ever do is not take a side, no matter the issue. Sitting atop the fence, considering variables that don't even exist, so you can push up your glasses and say "I am no ideologue"

The only extraordinary circumstance where a balaclava should be permitted is if the year is 1984 and you're due for a meeting with Maggie Thatcher.

Lmao I know The Sun is deeply unserious, but this is such an insane headline to run for "the post office will be closed in observance of President's Day"

If you took Chuck Schumer's lunch money, he'd start the negotiations by asking if he could just have $0.25 back to call his mom, and by the end of negotiations he'd be agreeing to walk you to the bank with his ATM card to withdraw an extra $500.

Same energy

Yeah I noticed that the picture looked (semi) recent, but I also for the life of me could not have told you for sure what Bezos looked like 24 years ago.

A major publication giving a couple thousand words worth of space to "Actually, It's Ephebophilia" on the same day journalism officially dies at another major newspaper. Wonder if there's anything there.

The risk/reward here is absolutely wild, man. Best case scenario, you get to tell your drinking buddies you clocked a 16 year old girl. Worst case scenario, you get swallowed up like you're one of those Return of the King giant elephants and the kids are the oathbreaker ghost army.

My man *wildly* over-estimated his answer to the age old "how many grade school kids could you take at once?"

Granted, but he also didn't create the fake image