John Halo

yes!!

If you can’t take the skeet get out of the skitchen

Exiled for 1,000 years in Babeland

I heard there was a crazy move
That Haliey did and it pleased a dude
But you don't believe in spittin on it do ya?

Hawk tuuuuu aaaaahhhh
Haaaaawwwk tuuuuu aaaaaaaaahhhh

Madam Babe President get down that latte has dairy!!

Set your watch to Babes o'Clock

Babe City is the capitol of the state of Babe Island (Formerly Rhode Island)

Babe City boasts the #1 spot for instagram followers per capita and it's also #3 for coal exports nationally

There may be synergistic effects between babes and yummy food but the research is inconclusive so far

lmao

The food critic was able to make a lucrative income based on his work and even bought a nice downtown flat. You could really say he ate himself into house and home

I'm paranoid of blowing up my back muscles now cause I caught a glance of myself slouching in the mirror and it looked like some real notre dame shit

They caught mergan werlan trying to be epic behind the scenes at saturday night live

Need to stop critiquing the old people’s form in my head at the gym they’re just looking for something fun to do before they pass on

That fourth Bourne movie is so quaint in retrospect. It’s all about the Snowden leaks and Facebook privacy breeches. I forgot these were things people used to give a shit about

In another life I wrote a billion dollar advertising slogan

Food: It’s What’s Yummy

we are the nephews of the uncles who wouldn’t say sorry for party rocking

They need to come out with a pizza that has zero calories

Hey! Anita! Leave those games alone. All in all you’re just a— nother fake gamer girl

British people be like Love, that's dog shite

I'm so jacked that the small of my back has become the large of my back

Depressed snail: I feel like I'm on borrowed slime

“It takes all kinds”

WRONG. It takes two maybe three kinds of people

Girls have emojis that normal people haven't even heard of

Just ate yummy food!

If peanut butter is so great how come there’s no peanut butter 2

One of the most satisfying things you can do is call people assumed to be intelligent a dumb fuck, low IQ etc…

Lea Seydoux appeared to me in a dream and told me to watch The Beast. You can’t buy marketing like that

Women just want a man who is constantly bleeding all the time